Sunday, September 20, 2009

the most expensive bracelet, INDEED

i know you've been dying to know.

remember this:

bennett's fun ER experience?

the bill came.

grand total: $1402

yeah, all for sticking a raisin up his nose. allow me to break it down for you:

$805 just for walking through the door of the hospital. i'm guessing we figure in the following things here: the paper we had to sign, salary for the 4 minutes we spent with the nurse, the cost of flushing the toilet when bennett had to use the bathroom, two paper towels used as kleenex because his nose was running (there was, after all, something stuck up there), laundering the clean white sheet his dirty feet rested on. oh, and i guess our portion of electricity and the cleaning bill. and, of course, the cute plastic bracelet. so yeah, i think 805 is excessive, but i also realize that it's pretty typical. i was sorta expecting/dreading it.

a bit surprised though, by the additional bill.

the one for the PA.

i'm not sure why the bills have to be separate. i'm not sure she spent more than 5 minutes with us. i'm not sure why such a brief period of time spent with a skilled medical professional can't be included in $805. i'm not sure why its an additional $597!!!

one thing i am sure of, though:

i chose the wrong profession.

a little math here.

if i start with the 5 minutes she spent with us... and i'll go ahead and figure in charting (because i'm sure it took "awhile" to type in "teach your child not to put objects up his nose"), walking down the hallway to our room, and the time she had to spend retelling the story... and generously round up to 30 minutes.

"emergency department visit" is $176. this is the doctor fee. so at this rate, she's making $352 an hour. and that's before figuring in her skills.

skills for this particular night:

$421 "removal of foreign body" seriously? an additional $421 dollars to pull out a pair of child size pliers and pull a raisin out. makes me wonder if the medical professionals out there have a secret deal with SunMaid or something.

well, fortunately, my husband turned on the charm and they were willing to give us a discount. yep, they took a whole 5% off our bill.

good news, bennett. looks like you can still go to college.


Joanna said...

holy smokes, serious?? I can't believe how expensive that trip was. Good to know though in case Brody or Kat ever do this. I'm getting out my tweezer and taking out the object myself.

Erin said...

Oh yikes, yikes, yikes. What a bummer. Glad you can see a little of the humor in it. One thing you forgot- mal-practice insurance for the people who get mad that they don't get paid that much and go after the PA/hospital/nurse because they cared. Not you of course, but the next guy. I bet that makes up the difference...

Rachael Schepemaker said...

Good thing that sand up the nose comes out easier!

Mom of Three said...

W-o-w. That's crazy.

debby94 said...

Ouch! I think you & I both are in the wrong profession. Thanks for the laugh though!

Jennifer said...

Seriously?!! Anthony was the only child I had that put anything up his nose and it was a green bean. Our neighbor removed it with tweezers. I baked them a cake to thank them...after all the money I saved...maybe I should have done more....
Hope you have a great day!