bennett's fun ER experience?
the bill came.
grand total: $1402
yeah, all for sticking a raisin up his nose. allow me to break it down for you:
$805 just for walking through the door of the hospital. i'm guessing we figure in the following things here: the paper we had to sign, salary for the 4 minutes we spent with the nurse, the cost of flushing the toilet when bennett had to use the bathroom, two paper towels used as kleenex because his nose was running (there was, after all, something stuck up there), laundering the clean white sheet his dirty feet rested on. oh, and i guess our portion of electricity and the cleaning bill. and, of course, the cute plastic bracelet. so yeah, i think 805 is excessive, but i also realize that it's pretty typical. i was sorta expecting/dreading it.
a bit surprised though, by the additional bill.
the one for the PA.
i'm not sure why the bills have to be separate. i'm not sure she spent more than 5 minutes with us. i'm not sure why such a brief period of time spent with a skilled medical professional can't be included in $805. i'm not sure why its an additional $597!!!
one thing i am sure of, though:
i chose the wrong profession.
a little math here.
if i start with the 5 minutes she spent with us... and i'll go ahead and figure in charting (because i'm sure it took "awhile" to type in "teach your child not to put objects up his nose"), walking down the hallway to our room, and the time she had to spend retelling the story... and generously round up to 30 minutes.
"emergency department visit" is $176. this is the doctor fee. so at this rate, she's making $352 an hour. and that's before figuring in her skills.
skills for this particular night:
well, fortunately, my husband turned on the charm and they were willing to give us a discount. yep, they took a whole 5% off our bill.
good news, bennett. looks like you can still go to college.