Saturday, May 29, 2010

man vs wild: family edition

its a beautiful saturday afternoon.

daddy asks with excitement, "who wants to go exploring?"

the kids are thrilled and run around finding shoes and socks and hats and ask a million where/what/when/how questions.

ella says, "i know. exploring means hiking."


maybe it used to.

that all changed today.

exploring actually means braving the elements and risking your life for adventure.

it started out harmless enough. wide open spaces. perfect temperature. green trees. and we found this awesome little creek.and who doesn't love throwing rocks in the water, getting your feet wet... good times. everyone was happy. the trail pretty much ended right there at the water. and no matter that we'd only ventured a mere few hundred feet from the car.

but then...

we happened to notice that the trail continued across the creek.

well, that could be fun.

(or not.)

"funny" thing is, i'm pretty sure no one has been on this trail in the last century. it was covered with overgrown weeds. i think my poor little boy is in there somewhere...this wouldn't have been so terrible if it weren't for the fact that i was positively sure we'd step on a rattlesnake any second. or that there were 85 million gnats swarming around our heads.

it was a bit claustrophobic being surrounded by these gigantic wildflower/weed-type things, fearing snakes and then having your children stop every few inches because they didn't want twigs touching them.

but hey, we couldn't turn back. and what is there to fear when
bear grylls is leading us? no but really, once we made it through that horrible, scary rattlesnake infested no man's land, i really didn't want to go back through it.

i mean it. i was sorta freaked out.

especially when we heard loud "rustling" at the base of the mountain.

ella gasps, "its a bear!"

daddy, mr. fearless explorer, reassures, "no, its probably just a lizard."

big fat liar.

i know lizard sounds. it was no lizard.

but whatever. (yeah, this is actually the picture of when we heard the "lizard" (aka bigfoot). i had to capture the moment. after all, what if we died? you all needed something for my memoirs.)

and while this completely secluded "we could die here and no one would ever know" place (sure there is a paved road like 1/2 a mile away, but still, we were buried in this unforgiving terrain) was beautiful...

i was kinda wondering if we'd make it out alive.

so anthony says, "i'll head up and see if this crosses back over to the road. you guys can wait here."

yeah, that was fun. except for all the bugs flying in our noses and ears.

oh, and that wild animal about to pounce on us out of the bushes.
so being the scaredy cat i am, we follow off in the way anthony went. the whole while i'm watching very intently at the base of this mountain. i've convinced myself a mountain lion is about to attack us. and i'm also convinced i can kill it with my bare hands to protect my children. it would have made an awesome story. but it didn't happen.

instead, anthony meets up with us and tells us he found the way. its just up here across this: yes, but is there actually civilization across that? so he blazes on up ahead to find out. thumbs up.

so, child #1 makes it safely across: child #2 makes is safely across: child #3...

he made is safely across too.

and now that i'm home and alive and well, i can say it was actually kind of fun. and maybe we'll go back there again sometime.

with a machete.

and a gps.

and a rifle.

1 comment:

Heather said...

I read this at work the other night (where I am blocked from leaving comments...darn internet restrictions) and I laughed so hard I almost choked. You.Crack.Me.Up. Joe and I just took the kids for a big hike on Sunday, and all the while I was thinking of this post and giggling to myself. I'm sure my kids thought I was losing my mind :)

So glad the bear/rattlesnake/mountain lion did not eat you all up! What an adventure!