little bro

when did this stinky little boy, who used to torment me and embarrass me in front of my friends,
who called calls me fatso and eavesdropped on my phone conversations and tried to drown my kitty,

who slept with mom's bra as a little boy because it was "soft," who farted at the dinner table and constantly forgot to give me phone messages,

(example:
me: "chad, did anyone call?"
chad: "uhhhh... yeah, i think so."
me: "who?"
chad: "i don't really remember."
*next day*
me: "what is this?" finding a note saying: "4-532" on the kitchen counter.
chad: "umm... oh yeah, someone called you."
me: "WHO?!?"
chad: "can't remember. that's their phone number."
me: "its missing some numbers!"
chad: "oh."
me: "well, was it a guy or a girl?"
chad: "uh, i don't remember."
me: "chad! i'm going to kill you!"
chad: "shut up, fatso!") chad...

who told his homecoming date to "git!" on out of our house after pictures and used to be obsessed with pez, the three stooges, bart simpson and elisabeth shue, who used to let us dress him up as a girl, and would eat handfuls of spinach under the delusion it would actually give him enough strength to break through his sisters' bedroom door (thank you popeye),

who told us what our birthday presents were before we opened them and constantly fought with me over who would ride shotgun...

when did stinky little chad...

grow up to such a fine looking gentleman?
when did he become so head over heels and lovestruck at the sight of his beautiful bride?when did he find such an amazing girl to marry,
who will actually put up with him,

even during football season...sarah, he may be your husband now, but he'll always be my annoying, stinky, pesky little brother.

i love you, chad. and sarah. congratulations on happily ever after.