Monday, March 22, 2010

what's with spongebob anyway?

seriously, could there be a more obnoxious children's character?
and my kids are completely obsessed with him.


not that they have ever seen one of his episodes.

they know they can't watch him.

bennett: "mommy, why is spongebob inappropriate?"

ella: "because zoe's mommy said so."

she's right. a few years ago i heard another mom (that i respect) say her kids don't watch spongebob because he's inappropriate. good enough for me.

and that's all the research i need to do on that subject.

but they still ask. and they are still completely mesmerized by this ridiculous, loud, yellow headed thing.

it doesn't help that he is EVERYWHERE.

we'll be roaming through the grocery store and mason will scream, "bob-bob! bob-bob!" (never mind that he still won't say MOMMY! but spongebob, yes.) he's on soup,
string cheese, cereal, yogurt, macaroni and cheese, toothpaste... i can't get away.

and he's on mason's toothbrush. he gets so excited, "bob-bob! bob-bob!"recently, at mason's well check, the dr is asking me about mason's developmental milestones. for the most part, the kid is pretty advanced (of course). but when it comes to speech...

the doctor asks, "does he say 4 to 8 words?"

let's see:
1. dada
2. bob-bob
3. didts (translation: this)
4. mommy

"nope."

doctor: "is he able to make his needs known?"

me: "does pointing, flinging his body, banging his head on the floor, and screaming count?" yes, he very much communicates.

(oh, and he does also smile, nod and say please (and airplane!) in sign language. so he isn't always the terrible demon i make him out to be.)

(but in case you stop feeling sorry for me, you must know he is still a handful. and super dramatic. and often emotionally volatile. and if i could pay someone to deal with him everyday after his nap, i totally would.)
but back to spongebob...

every once in awhile, my kids sneak spongebob contraband into a stack of library books. and they get so excited.

and i can't figure out why. among many other reasons, they are totally and completely lame. and i feel as though these books completely insult the intelligence of children everywhere.

(but i will say, raising impressionable preschoolers aside, "nincompoop" is kinda a funny word.)

so the other night, i tell them, again, we can't read the latest spongebob book because it has naughty words in it.

they are disappointed, of course.

why can't they just be content with curious george, the most innocent character on tv?he's a monkey who can't even talk. therefore he isn't disrespectful to his parents, calling people "stupid", getting in sibling fights, dealing with peer pressure, lying, smoking cigarettes...

they do love curious george. i mean, who doesn't.

but they long for spongebob.

but here's the thing: how do they even know what they are missing?

its like my friend christina says, spongebob is the forbidden fruit. they want it even more since they know they can't have it.

hmmm...

i can't possibly relate to this, can i?

i mean... if there is something i know to be bad for me to see/hear/watch on tv/say/participate in, i have absolutely no problem whatsoever.

none.

i am never ever curious or tempted in finding out for myself.

ever.

ahem.

funny what your kids can teach you.

turns out, i just may have "spongebob"-type problems of my own.

and just when i was beginning to think i had it all figured out...

7 comments:

Vicki said...

hahaha, very cute... and true!

lou said...

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Seriously!!!!!! What is with SpongeBob??? It's been driving me crazy and my kiddies are just as obsessed and they did happen to sneak a couple episodes while I was in the shower or rocking the baby to sleep (which can sometimes take forever), so now they try to tell me about the episodes hoping I will change my mind. Not gonna happen. Mainly it's such an ugly character I can't even stand to look at it. He's rude and crude and usually doesn't even make sense. I hope this faze ends quickly. And yes, he is EVERYWHERE... I feel your pain :(

JJ said...

I also have banned SpongeBob from our house. I tell the girls that he's too old for them and even too old for Mommy. So far they've accepted it, but they certainly know who he is...

Curious George is on our questionable list. I'm just too stuffy - but I really wish that monkey would get into trouble for his curious pranks sometimes... :)

But we LOVE Word World and Super Why and Sid the Science Kid... so maybe we'll be ok (or I should be ashamed that we know so many shows on tv. Bad mommy!)

The real problem I'm having with them is Barbie. I told Mia that Barbie thinks too much about her body and wasn't smart enough... and then I felt SO condemning...

Jen said...

I don't know, I think Spongebob is funny. Sorry.

angie said...

Seriously, somebody is getting really rich off of something really lame.

Too bad it's not me.

I mean, you know, apart from corrupting little children and all...

Heather said...

SpongeBob is annoying, I agree. But he can be pretty funny. And the more you put some things off-limits, the more they want them...the lure of the forbidden, you know. So I don't have a ban on the Spongeman, per se, but I don't encourage it, either.

Gabe wanted a SpongeBob blanket for his new room, and put the nix on that one. NO characters on the bedclothes; we'll be buying new blankets in a year's time when SpongeBob is old news and the next character takes the front stage.

Lucia's Mama said...

I just want to say that I broke out a hand-me-down Curious George book for the first time last night and read it to my daughter. In the book George smoked a pipe (!) and went to jail (!). I don't think we'll be reading that again!