dear son,

its true. i really wanted you to be a girl.

but i've decided to love you anyway.

sincerely,
mommy

ps sleep is a good thing.

adventures at the beach

saturday started as a cozy morning with breakfast at the beach.

(that is, if you actually count doughnuts as breakfast and not just some fancy, sugar filled, fried dessert they just so happen to serve in the morning...)we watched surfers, dolphins, beach tractors. all with cozy, cloudy, perfect weather.

the kids dug and splashed and ran their little legs off.
ella and bennett made a new friend and they dug pools and made houses and made me slightly concerned that my little mono girl was possibly overdoing it. but to see this huge smile on her face... i just decided to let her have her fun. and then, there was the huge wave that crashed into the kids. all fun and games until it carried mason away, underwater and all, while i'm grabbing for him and his shirt is getting ripped out of my hands and my feet get stuck in a hole and i can't reach him and i'm panicking because i can just see part of his swimsuit while all of him is rolling away in the water and my legs won't move fast enough...

and then ella's new friend's daddy came to the rescue and snatched mason up before he was washed out to sea. (he also just so happens to be ryan shappelle from 24, and also stars in naughty shows like sopranos and nurse jackie that i've never seen. but nevertheless, he spent most of the day with us and was super nice and will forever be my hero for saving my son's life.)

my "subtle picture" of our new friend, lifesaver, CTU director...
anyhow, it was horrible and dramatic and i stopped shaking by dinner.

mason, as exasperating as you can be sometimes, i would have been horribly devastated if you drowned.

so glad you lived to wake me up 3 times last night...

"wow, being sick is sometimes a little bit of fun." -ella

thanks to many wonderful people in our lives, ella has been sufficiently spoiled.

care packages, visitors, and even a gift card for when she's feeling up for some ice cream.

there is something special about people loving on your kids.

so... thanks, people.

and as a result of all the crafty gifts she has received, she's been all about art lately. this weekend, while the germ-free part of the family was at church, ella said, "i have art class all set up for us."

there is something therapeutic about leaving the dirty dishes to sit and draw with your 6 year old. and i must say, there is an advantage to having just experienced the misery known as the first trimester.

compassion.

the feeling of not wanting to do a single thing, like get off the couch, brush my teeth, or smile at my children, is still very fresh in mind. that is why i have no problem saying, "sure, you can watch another movie. no, you don't need to clean up your room. why, of course you can have oreos for breakfast."

there were days just a couple months ago i wasn't sure i was going to make it. all i could do was count down the minutes to naptime. i'd get mason to sleep, allow the older two to do whatever quiet thing they could find and remind them they may not come out of their room unless the house is on fire...

and i'd slip into a coma.

and then it never failed. the sweet voice of my precious middle born child would penetrate my much needed sleep.

"mommy..."

i didn't even let him finish. i figured he'd be crying if his arm were severed.

"GET. OUT."

"but mommy -"

"get out now, bennett. and don't come back in."

i'd fall back asleep. then he'd come back and whisper. (like that is so much better.)

"mommy, can we have fruit snacks?"

"mommy, i'm really sorry to wake you up again, but ella was just touching my legos."

"mommy, i don't want to wake you up but i have to go to the bathroom and is it ok if i flush the toilet or is that too loud?"

"mommy. i'm really sorry to wake you up again. but... mommy, ella called me a peabody!"

oh. dear. God. help me.

its pretty safe to say that the first trimester was not my most effective stage of motherhood. hopefully that thing about children being resilient is true.

anyhow, back to ella. she's doing ok. she insists she's totally fine. never mind the temperature. the persistent irritability, the exhausted look always on her face. but hopefully she'll be completely recovered sometime in the next couple weeks.