Tuesday, January 19, 2010

soccer observations: week 1

so ella and bennett have become soccer players. that makes me a soccer mom.

no shocker there. it was inevitable.

i do drive a minivan after all.

the soccer experience is hilarious.

but let me begin by thanking our dear friends the leamans for the soccer gear. yeah, all that stuff adds up. so imagine how thrilled we were the night before ella's first practice, when we happened to be at their house and they had a bag of shin guards, socks, and 2 pairs of cleats that just happened to fit the feet of my 2 kids. thank you God for your provision. (and thank you that the leaman girls don't like soccer so we could benefit from their generosity. amen.)


observation #1: be aggressive
its ironic to teach your children to be generous and sacrificial and offer toys to kids, share, have a servant's heart, don't take things from others, etc... and then try to prepare them for their first ever soccer game. "be aggressive! get that ball!" so, be nice kids. except for in sports. this principle became very apparent when bennett was happily kicking the ball down the field, just to have some big 3 year-old meanie come kick it away from him. he stopped playing immediately, burst into tears, and remained in anthony's arms for the duration of the game.
observation #2: all those people
3 year-old games are awesome. i had no idea to prepare for all the parents on the field. these poor kids are so overwhelmed. they've hardly seen a soccer ball before, let alone played in a game. and then all their family, siblings, grandparents, distant cousins, neighbors, godparents, etc... come and cheer for them. there are 6 kids on bennetts team. and like 50 spectators (give or take...). half of these kids are in tears wanting to hide in their parent's arms. therefore, the parents can go on the field with them. love it.

observation #3: mommys, keep your mouth shut
don't cheer for your 3 year-old. its overwhelming and scary. especially when he's doing such a good job with kicking the ball. don't yell louder. or he might burst into tears and say, "mommy, don't say anything to me!" and then refuse to leave daddy's arms.

but hey, maybe that's just my kid.

observation #4: the super-soccer mom
always sign up for team snacks the first week. the goal here: set the bar low. which was of course my motivation for offering to bring snacks to bennett's game.

however, mom-of-the-year over at ella's game brings these big ol' personal bags for each child. filled with enough fun snacks to last the entire week, passing out orange slices on the hors d'oeuvres tray at half time. fine, lady, you can be the favorite mom. i'm not giving into parent peer pressure and going into debt to impress a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds with my snack providing abilities. no, i'm not going to do it. i'll bring something boring when its my turn.

and you moms over on bennett's team, you can go ahead and thank me. there's nowhere to go but up from generic granola bars and target juice boxes.


you're welcome.

observation #5: the human blob
are there magnets in the shin guards and the soccer ball, attracting one to the other? all these kids running around in one little huddle on the field... this would be incredibly boring to me if it weren't for the fact that its my adorable kids out there. seriously, they are so awesome. who would have thought spending saturday mornings at the ymca could be so much fun! to think, i used to be able to sleep in and enjoy leisurely breakfasts and lazy weekend days...

then i had kids.

"so bennett, did you have fun?"

big smile, "yeah." and then he catches himself and looks like he might cry. "but that was NOT very nice when that boy took the ball from me. that. was. SO. MEAN!"

(yes, my kids are the ones in denim shorts.


there weren't any soccer shorts in the leaman bag. you didn't think i was going to go out and actually buy some did you?)


Heather said...

You are cracking me up!

All of my kids have tried soccer through our YMCA. Elijah thought it was okay (he was five), Isabel tried to crawl up my husband's leg at the first practice and refused to ever go back (thank goodness for refunds), and Gabe is a soccer superstar. He would've been the mean 3 year old stealing the ball. Except he would have been crying right next to Bennett after seeing him get so upset. (He cried when he accidentally tripped a kid during a game; thought he was in trouble).

Your observations are spot-on!

The super-mom did what? That is crazy. I always brought a fruit snack and a box of Capri-suns. That's as fancy as snacks get around here.

Do you need some soccer shorts? 'Cause I have plenty :)

Erin said...

Laughing, laughing, laughing. I loved it- all of it. And no you don't need to go buy shorts- I'm sure someone has some they can give you!

Joanna said...

you are the best soccer writing mom Stephanie - that was the most entertaining post I've ever read :). Thank you!

debby94 said...

Thanks for another great laugh!

Julie Salafia said...

I got to tell you that you absolutely crack DJ and I up.. We were in constant laughs reading your blogs about the mistakes with the wax paper and the soccer game. Absolutely hilarious! We miss you guys!