last night, after reading a cute little story about a bear whose mommy tucked him in all cozy in his bed and gave him warm milk and kisses, i told my kids that there are many children around the world tonight who do not have mommys and daddys to kiss them goodnight. so maybe we can be praying for them, that God would watch over them and provide mommys and daddys for them.
ella and mason i'm pretty sure are paying absolutely no attention to me whatsoever.
my sensitive middle child is staring at me with huge, intent eyes. he very seriously asks me, “is there still slaves in the world?”to which i replied that yes, there are. there are many people kept in horrible situations with no one to comfort them tonight. we can always be praying against injustice and for God to protect them.
then i asked Bennett to pray first.
“dear God, we think of all the people who are slaves.” (he’s praying very slow and deliberate and very, very serious) “and we think of the man who is making them be slaves. and Lord, we pray that you would send someone to shoot him.” (it took everything in me not to laugh out loud. mostly because he was near tears in his sincerity.) then he continued, “and Lord, we think of the orphans.” (long pause) “and we pray the same thing. amen.”
so, be warned, oppressors of the world. the prayer of a righteous man (and of a sincere 5 year old) availeth much.
(and way more information that most will care about... unless you are my mom or incredibly bored today. in which case, read on...)
so saturday morning started as a typical morning for me. rising way before the sun and cursing insomnia yet enjoying the quiet time of reading my Bible and following my wise sister's idea of making a thankful list in my journal every saturday.
helps tremendously with that whole perspective thing in life.
later in the early morning, it became evident that i needed to get myself on up to the hospital for some monitoring and baby checking. i'll spare you the graphic details, but lets just say i sorta started freaking out until i realized that if i freak out, my 3 little giggling children will start freaking out and we'll all spiral downhill.
so i put it in God's hands and got myself ready to head to the hospital. one big step in the morning was telling ella i wasn't going to make her soccer game. she was devastated. (she hates it when i miss her practice and daddy takes her. i ask her why she wants me there so bad. she says i'm more fun. i tell her this is impossible.) (truly)
so she cried and fortunately is still so blissfully self-absorbed it didn't occur to her to worry about the baby. total blessing.
said goodbye to the boys who may or may not have noticed i was eventually gone all day.
i drove myself to the hospital. i realize how crazy this sounds and anthony kept saying it just wasn't right and he should be taking me. but there was no way he was getting out of soccer dad duties for 2 games. after all, it was bennett's day for snacks.
priorities.
(i will insert here i was fine emotionally and in no pain. and we did have nana and papa here and i have plenty of friends i could have called who would have in a moment dropped their soccer mom duties to take me to the hospital so really, it was no big deal.)
so i was admitted and monitored and given meds and shots and had blood work and ultrasounds, all indicating this was just a result of my placenta previa and i wasn't in labor and the baby was fine. so then i had warm blankets tucked around me and drank cranberry juice cocktail and was served lunch i didn't have to cook and lemon meringue pie that reminded me of thanksgiving (my favorite day of gluttony) all while watching mindless tv (btw, who actually watches this "keeping up with the kardashians," why-won't-they-go-away train wreck? seriously.) (and also, why only 2 episodes on marathon saturday? i mean, what better way to check out and pass the hours) (ahem) i also got a nap and got to read my book... it was almost like a spa day.
although, shockingly, i was really, really sad about missing my kids soccer games and was literally fighting back tears when they each called me and told me all about the goal they almost scored. maybe there is a real true soccer mom hidden down deep in me somewhere... i'm beyond relieved that everything was ok. and while i'm on precautionary bed-rest, i'm praying there are no complications or pre-term labor issues to deal with again.
(also... bed-rest???? i almost laughed at my doctor. right... 3 kids, homeschooling, soccer, awana, swim lessons...)
anyhow, i'm thankful that i have a peace i can't explain. it would be easy, and quite frankly natural to get really overwhelmed and anxious and fearful in the midst of this and yet by choosing to trust God early that morning, he filled me with his peace i can't explain. my life and my baby are completely out of my own control and fortunately rest entirely in the hands of God. it wasn't the tests and medicine and fantastic hospital staff that made everything ok, (although i'm thankful those cozy heated blankets were a tool in the process) but rather all of this is dictated by an awesome God who had every day of my life written before even one of them came to be.
there is a lot of peace found in sitting back, trusting him, and just enjoying the cranberry juice cocktail.
i don't particularly like that my children know the significance of september 11th.
not because i prefer them to be ignorant, but rather that such a horrible day would never have been seared into history.
this year, we ventured on over to pepperdine university (the school i would have never attended class... have you actually seen this place? on a gorgeous green cliff overlooking the pacific ocean? how does a college student focus here?) for an amazing september 11th memorial.2,977 flags on display.
each representing a life lost. completely moving. completely heartbreaking. should you actually be looking for an excuse to head to malibu, these flags will be on display until september 21.
so we officially started our school year this week and so far its gone quite well. i mean, what school year isn't going to start off great when the teacher is greeted with flowers and donuts and these adorable faces when arriving home from her early morning walk on the first day of school. ("early morning" because insomnia is still wrecking my life.) the kids are excited about the year and about their new notebooks and jobs and workboxes and centers.
hoping this excitement will continue for another 100+ days...
the other day i asked ella, "so, what are some of the things you are excited about with homeschooling this year?"without hesitation she responds, "well. i'm excited that you won't be getting pregnant this time and there will be a tad bit more learning going on than last year."
well alrighty then.
leave it to your kids to be honest.
a few days ago i was talking to them about how excited i am for the opportunity to be their teacher this year and then i asked them if they remembered why it is we decided to homeschool.
"yes, because at that school down there," bennett points out the window. "they tell all kinds of lies that we came from monkeys and other stuff that isn't true. and so we are going to draw pictures of what's true and show people when they come to our house so they can believe in God."
well, ummm... i don't think that is exactly why we homeschool... but ok...
