words

i read this early this morning (thank you, insomnia) and thought it was definitely worth passing along... to present and future parents:

words

her dad sure sounds completely awesome. almost as great as the man who raised me and the man i married.

almost.

note to that open house realtor and other random strangers:

hi, allow me to introduce myself.

yes, i'm a homeschooling mom.

i love my kids and love the experience of homeschooling them.

i do not sit at home and weave together matching denim jumpers.

or sit around polishing up my gun collection.

so when you run into my innocent little 5 year old and ask the question, "so, where do you go to school?" please know i'm working on teaching him how to apply a filter to his mouth.

because while its true that i don't particularly want to enroll my kids in public school, the actual reason we homeschool is NOT because that "school down the street tells us that we come from monkeys and lots of other lies."

and then when you smile politely and say things like, "oh, i'm not sure that they teach -" and he emphatically interrupts you and says, "oh yes they do! my mommy says so!" well... its just that i'm not that extreme about it.

because one day this summer, during one of our many, many trips to the doctor for ella's mono adventure, bennett found a national geographic to peruse. and one very interesting, very detailed picture showed the evolution of monkey to man. this naturally fascinated him and he asked me about it so i took a few seconds to say that some people believe that there is not a God who created us and rather think that we came from monkeys.

he giggled because yes, even a 5 year old sees how ludicrous this is.

then a few days later i was explaining all the reasons i'm excited for homeschooling this year and how much fun it will be as a family and how great it will be to learn about God and the world he created.

and then i maybe mentioned how important it is for us to learn things according to the bible and that at public schools you don't really have that option. and the magazine article came up for about 2 seconds and i thought that was the end of it.

obviously it's not.

and while i try to coach bennett on how to better present us as a happy, loving family and not a bunch of bitter, angry, conservative freaks... well, he's 5 and it may take a little time for him to learn.

so, for all of you out there that we have offended because of his quick honesty, i'm truly sorry.

bedtime prayer

last night, after reading a cute little story about a bear whose mommy tucked him in all cozy in his bed and gave him warm milk and kisses, i told my kids that there are many children around the world tonight who do not have mommys and daddys to kiss them goodnight. so maybe we can be praying for them, that God would watch over them and provide mommys and daddys for them.

ella and mason i'm pretty sure are paying absolutely no attention to me whatsoever.

my sensitive middle child is staring at me with huge, intent eyes. he very seriously asks me, “is there still slaves in the world?” to which i replied that yes, there are. there are many people kept in horrible situations with no one to comfort them tonight. we can always be praying against injustice and for God to protect them.

then i asked Bennett to pray first.

“dear God, we think of all the people who are slaves.” (he’s praying very slow and deliberate and very, very serious) “and we think of the man who is making them be slaves. and Lord, we pray that you would send someone to shoot him.” (it took everything in me not to laugh out loud. mostly because he was near tears in his sincerity.) then he continued, “and Lord, we think of the orphans.” (long pause) “and we pray the same thing. amen.”

so, be warned, oppressors of the world. the prayer of a righteous man (and of a sincere 5 year old) availeth much.

LOVE this girl

been reading her blog for quite some time. you should too. go here.

now she has a book and i can't wait to get it.




amazima.org

an update

(and way more information that most will care about... unless you are my mom or incredibly bored today. in which case, read on...)

so saturday morning started as a typical morning for me. rising way before the sun and cursing insomnia yet enjoying the quiet time of reading my Bible and following my wise sister's idea of making a thankful list in my journal every saturday.

helps tremendously with that whole perspective thing in life.

later in the early morning, it became evident that i needed to get myself on up to the hospital for some monitoring and baby checking. i'll spare you the graphic details, but lets just say i sorta started freaking out until i realized that if i freak out, my 3 little giggling children will start freaking out and we'll all spiral downhill.

so i put it in God's hands and got myself ready to head to the hospital. one big step in the morning was telling ella i wasn't going to make her soccer game. she was devastated. (she hates it when i miss her practice and daddy takes her. i ask her why she wants me there so bad. she says i'm more fun. i tell her this is impossible.) (truly)

so she cried and fortunately is still so blissfully self-absorbed it didn't occur to her to worry about the baby. total blessing.

said goodbye to the boys who may or may not have noticed i was eventually gone all day.

i drove myself to the hospital. i realize how crazy this sounds and anthony kept saying it just wasn't right and he should be taking me. but there was no way he was getting out of soccer dad duties for 2 games. after all, it was bennett's day for snacks.

priorities.

(i will insert here i was fine emotionally and in no pain. and we did have nana and papa here and i have plenty of friends i could have called who would have in a moment dropped their soccer mom duties to take me to the hospital so really, it was no big deal.)

so i was admitted and monitored and given meds and shots and had blood work and ultrasounds, all indicating this was just a result of my placenta previa and i wasn't in labor and the baby was fine. so then i had warm blankets tucked around me and drank cranberry juice cocktail and was served lunch i didn't have to cook and lemon meringue pie that reminded me of thanksgiving (my favorite day of gluttony) all while watching mindless tv (btw, who actually watches this "keeping up with the kardashians," why-won't-they-go-away train wreck? seriously.) (and also, why only 2 episodes on marathon saturday? i mean, what better way to check out and pass the hours) (ahem) i also got a nap and got to read my book... it was almost like a spa day.

although, shockingly, i was really, really sad about missing my kids soccer games and was literally fighting back tears when they each called me and told me all about the goal they almost scored. maybe there is a real true soccer mom hidden down deep in me somewhere...

i'm beyond relieved that everything was ok. and while i'm on precautionary bed-rest, i'm praying there are no complications or pre-term labor issues to deal with again.

(also... bed-rest???? i almost laughed at my doctor. right... 3 kids, homeschooling, soccer, awana, swim lessons...)

anyhow, i'm thankful that i have a peace i can't explain. it would be easy, and quite frankly natural to get really overwhelmed and anxious and fearful in the midst of this and yet by choosing to trust God early that morning, he filled me with his peace i can't explain. my life and my baby are completely out of my own control and fortunately rest entirely in the hands of God. it wasn't the tests and medicine and fantastic hospital staff that made everything ok, (although i'm thankful those cozy heated blankets were a tool in the process) but rather all of this is dictated by an awesome God who had every day of my life written before even one of them came to be.

there is a lot of peace found in sitting back, trusting him, and just enjoying the cranberry juice cocktail.

all about me

an excerpt from bennett's all about me book: there are 2 reasons i love this.

number one: in the midst of the complete simplicity, he took the time to have daddy's arm extend down to him. absolutely precious.

number 2: i've never been this skinny, especially not now with the 3rd trimester looming in my very near future.

thanks, bennett.

so proud of you for knowing just how to suck up to your teacher.

remembering

i don't particularly like that my children know the significance of september 11th.

not because i prefer them to be ignorant, but rather that such a horrible day would never have been seared into history.

this year, we ventured on over to pepperdine university (the school i would have never attended class... have you actually seen this place? on a gorgeous green cliff overlooking the pacific ocean? how does a college student focus here?) for an amazing september 11th memorial.2,977 flags on display.

each representing a life lost. completely moving. completely heartbreaking. should you actually be looking for an excuse to head to malibu, these flags will be on display until september 21.

homeschool

so we officially started our school year this week and so far its gone quite well. i mean, what school year isn't going to start off great when the teacher is greeted with flowers and donuts and these adorable faces when arriving home from her early morning walk on the first day of school. ("early morning" because insomnia is still wrecking my life.)

the kids are excited about the year and about their new notebooks and jobs and workboxes and centers.

hoping this excitement will continue for another 100+ days...

the other day i asked ella, "so, what are some of the things you are excited about with homeschooling this year?" without hesitation she responds, "well. i'm excited that you won't be getting pregnant this time and there will be a tad bit more learning going on than last year."

well alrighty then.

leave it to your kids to be honest.

a few days ago i was talking to them about how excited i am for the opportunity to be their teacher this year and then i asked them if they remembered why it is we decided to homeschool.

"yes, because at that school down there," bennett points out the window. "they tell all kinds of lies that we came from monkeys and other stuff that isn't true. and so we are going to draw pictures of what's true and show people when they come to our house so they can believe in God."

well, ummm... i don't think that is exactly why we homeschool... but ok...

so... let the learning begin!

relentless

there is something about being followed around by a whining boy and his bag of diapers that just makes me say... i give up.

diapers really are easier anyway. (don't judge)

yay for soccer

its not that i completely despise soccer season.

i do love my kids and it is really fun to watch them play and enjoy themselves.

its just that soccer mom duties really interfere with my selfishness. and that's just plain annoying to me.

take for instance this weekend. thanks to this life sucking insomnia that is oppressing me, i had been up since 4 am on a saturday. all i desperately wanted was a nap.

but instead we found ourselves at the fields for not one but two afternoon games.

because now bennett has joined his sister in the soccer fun.

and what are the chances of getting the same color and same number as your sibling? i think its pretty cool.

ella... maybe not so much. who wants to match their little brother?

and how does bennett feel about it? well, he probably hasn't even noticed yet.

sometimes i wish i could be more like bennett. so carefree and happy and oblivious...

ella has really found her aggressive streak on the field (not that we didn't know it existed. it just hadn't manifested itself outside her dealings with me.) she did awesome and scored the first goal of the season! here's the picture: oh yeah, that's right. i was with my five year old's little bladder in the bathrooms and totally missed it.

and while i'm SO glad we don't still live in phoenix because the extent of my children's extra curricular activities would be indoor juggling... it was a little on the warm side. bennett also had his first game and loved it. good times for our little family.

only 9 more saturdays, 21 more practices, 4 snack duties, 2 picture times and an excessive amount of money spent on silly banners, hair ties, and end of the season parties to go!

yay for soccer!

mason

he's gonna be 3 in 2 weeks.
will someone get over here and potty train him?

stat.

highly specialized training required. preferably navy seals, army ranger, counter terrorism or any other experience in cracking the strongest of all resistance.

be advised: this job is not for sissies.

the great outdoors

so the last time we went camping was 6 years ago.this little precious angel was up all night and even though we put our tent far away from my sisters family, the woods are not sound proof and i'm sure we kept the whole forest up.

then, on day 2, it started raining.

and never stopped.

so we did what any logical person would do and packed up all our stuff and headed for our parents house. i'm sure they were thrilled to see our filthy faces.
after all, we brought a package of donuts with us.

and then after ella, there was bennett. then there was mason. and there was very little sleep mixed in there. so while camping occasionally came up as a thrilling adventure for our family, we always opted instead for our own beds and stay-at-home sanity.

but now that insanity has become the new norm we decided it was TIME!

time to head out and enjoy God's beautiful creation. (especially before this next little one comes and i never leave the house again.)

so we ventured to the mountains and had a fantastic time.

we saw the giant sequoias that have been firmly rooted for thousands of years. and yes, i'm certain these were far more fascinating to anthony and i than our children. they got excited about the ones you could walk inside and would say, "wow, cool..." but were way more interested in having a snack and hopefully seeing a moose. (which of course we did not.) but i must just say about these trees... God is pretty fantastic. the details of his creation are simply amazing.
back at camp the kids kept busy making a "wood store" and for the life of me i can't figure out why they were surprised i wouldn't give them actual dollar bills for their wood. surely they know how cheap i am by now. we played tarzancaused serious anxiety in dear old mommy
and enjoyed all kinds of big and little creations.
there was some creek playing, nature walks, bear fear and most of all... the joy of dirt. the clothes have come clean but the memories will last forever.

we went camping

and didn't even get eaten by bears.more to come after some serious baths and a few hundred loads of laundry.

gramma D

so yes, its been awhile since i've posted.

other than mourning over the fact that i'm not having a girl, not much else is going on around here.

well, other than a mono patient being almost completely healed, fun trips to the beach, visits with dear family and just the typical i love living in southern california summer.

while anthony has been in costa rica, roughing it for the Lord, we got to have a visit with grammy and grandma darlene.
it was such a treat to have them here. (not like grammy is old news or anything) but it was especially nice to have gramma D make the trip.

i have such found memories with my gramma D. she's always been simply amazing. generous, giving, kind, joyful.me and gramma D.

(and that cute girl coming out of the house is my cousin lisa. apparently, according to every adult relative we have, we couldn't be left alone in the same room as children or we'd practically kill each other. but we grew up to be best friends and totally love each other even though i can't get her to play another game of words with friends with me.)

we used to visit gramma back in nebraska and it never ceased to amaze me how hard working she was, running a farm and always having enough energy to put up with the gaggles of grandchildren invading her house for the summer.

making us lemonade dessert, not yelling at us when we picked all the petals off her roses...the family. gramma D is second from the left. (i'm of course the adorable child on the left.)

(i'm not sure why she isn't smiling here. rare, because she was always smiling. even when she cooked all those elaborate meals for all of us and instituted that nonsense about never ever ever putting the saucepans on the table and always always always using a serving dish in order to wash dishes pretty much around the clock.)

and then she moved closer and we'd visit her in phoenix and she'd always open her home to us and even let me live with her for a year after college. i've never heard the woman complain. and it wasn't like her life was easy. she's been a caregiver to almost everyone close to her and has tragically buried too many of her own children. she has a true servant's heart and i admire her sacrifice, peace, and joy.

when i was first getting to know anthony, i was telling him how my grandma was pretty much a superhero and how she could do anything at all. and he's nodding to me and smiling because everything i said back then was completely mesmerizing. but he probably didn't really believe me but as if on cue, she walked around the corner with a chainsaw and said, "well, i gotta go take care of that tree out there that is starting to scrape the roof." he's never doubted me since.

i'm so glad my kids could experience their great grandma. and while i wish they knew the gramma from a few years ago, i'm sure they'll still find memories of her whistling at the birds and talking to every single person we see extremely delightful. and while they are still trying to sort out things like why are the puzzle pieces supposed to be upside down? and isn't grammy actually her daughter, not her nurse? and why am i supposed to raise my hand over my head when i cough? they still really enjoyed having her here.
she's a kid herself, as happy as can be.

and i must say, she makes getting old look like a whole lot of fun.so the amazing women in my life went back to arizona and anthony returns tonight!

and while i'm thrilled about the fact that while many men out there travel frequently for work and are gone for excessive hours every week building corporations and generating revenue and my husband gets to go on missions trips and tell people about Jesus (!!!!), i'm absolutely ecstatic that he'll be home tonight and my boys will again have someone tossing them around and slamming into them with pillows.

because lets face it, there is just no substitute for daddy in the life of little boys. and based on the amount of screaming and restlessness going on here, they. have. missed. him.

boys.

have i've mentioned how thrilled i am about another boy?

dear son,

its true. i really wanted you to be a girl.

but i've decided to love you anyway.

sincerely,
mommy

ps sleep is a good thing.