who, me?

catching up

i've been pretty bad about updating the blog lately. i blame this partly on such things as homeschooling, cleaning, exhaustion... but mostly, i blame it on jane eyre.

i've been hopelessly absorbed in 554 pages of exceptional british literature.

and now its over.

sigh.

i miss jane.

but to catch you up on other news...

in celebration of our big 10 years of marriage, we had ourselves a little romantic getaway. it was a spontaneous family trip to santa barbara and while it did not involve sunset walks on the beach, leisurely dinners, gazing into each others eyes over candlelight, or sleeping in, it was still super fun.
the highlights:

• beachfront bike rides
• sea life spotting on the pier
• the never ending bowl of completely amazing salsa at dinner
• observing a drastic transition in our perspective during a beach front vacation: "why don't we spend the morning at the pool. after all, we can go to the beach anytime."

• convincing ella that my sweater looked perfectly stylish on her as a substitute for the one i forgot to pack and experiencing dreaded glimpses of what life will be like with a teenager as she constantly (and very dramatically) exclaimed "this is so embarrassing!"
• my favorite part was the knock on the door, the bottle of wine "compliments of the hotel" and the wonderful, yet hesitant "happy anniversary" greeting from the bellboy as he curiously took in the 3 children jumping happily on the bed.

for sure in another 10 years we'll actually have a quiet, relaxing, kid free get-away.

even if we have to take turns.

10

ten years ago today, i was riding in a horse drawn carriage in a beautiful dress, walking down a rose strewn aisle and saying "i do" to my best friend.

and continuing with the "walk down memory lane" theme, here's some reasons i'm glad anthony chose me for happy ever after:

• we make gorgeous children. (this statement may sound a little conceited. that's because it totally is.)
• he listens to me and all my ramblings and usually comes to the natural conclusion that i'm brilliant and always right.
  
• he's super handy. he can fix anything. like when my blow dryer got stuck on low or whenever our car makes some sort of crazy noise or any of the obnoxious loud toys we have strewn about our house.
• not only can he fix anything, he can make anything. like when i say, "i think it'd be fun to make the kids room into like a surf shack..." he makes surf boards and a loft and all sorts of fun stuff. he's pretty spectacular.
• he enjoys my cooking and even fakes enthusiasm at leftovers.
• he encourages me to have time away with friends or weekends with my family or a nap or a break of any sort and does super fun things with the kids.
• he's thoughtful and fun. one time on a camping trip, he packed the tv and the generator and we had a midnight movie under the stars. (this was ages ago when there wasn't a such thing as portable dvd players)
• he makes really, really good pasta sauce. and in large quantities. i find great comfort in the tupperware stacked in the freezer that tells me there is always a dinner option waiting at my fingertips.
• he's a great dad. in so, so many ways. one which i greatly appreciate: he not only taxis the kids to their activities such as soccer and awana, but he actually volunteers his time as a coach and cubbie's leader. he does these things because he loves his kids. and i love that i get to stay home and vacuum and wash dishes and read people magazine.
• he's so helpful around the house. all i have to do is make some comment about how i need to clean and he's getting out the comet and the mop and the vacuum.
• he's my favorite person to laugh with. after 10 years we've developed a similar sense of humor. we can be somewhere that it totally isn't appropriate to laugh at something in particular but we know its funny for some random reason and we'll just kinda exchange a look that says something like "we are the funniest people ever." it feels good to have someone know you so well.
• he's a hard-working, godly man who is full of integrity, loyalty and honesty.

happy anniversary. i love you.

and now i leave you with the worlds most ridiculous wedding picture: did our photographer hate us or something?

happy birthday, dad!

my dad turns 60 today. SIXTY! its crazy. that used to be so old. but when 33 became younger than it once was, so did 60. my dad is awesome and here's why:

1. he loves Jesus. for real.
2. he loves my mom. a lot.
3. he loves us kids. (how could you not?) (poor chad)
4. the grandkids are so awesome to him they practically walk on water.
5. one time, back in the years when the entire solar system revolved around being cool and accepted my dad actually took my sister and me into the guess store and bought us a pair of GUESS JEANS! it was huge. we didn't exactly have the money for such excessive frivolousness. yet, he knew how important it was to us to have a triangle on our rear.
6. he didn't make us eat our brussel sprouts. in fact, he'd secretly let us empty them in the trash when mom left the kitchen.
7. he did really fun rides when we were little and all 3 of us could hang on one arm.
8. he made us pancakes every saturday morning for breakfast. he still does when we visit.
9. he makes fantastic strawberry preserves.
10. he makes the worlds greatest homemade ice cream.
11. he used to take us driving when we were younger out on this deserted dirt road on the weekends. it was SO much fun and i always wondered why mom didn't come along. i'm now a mom and i wonder this no more.
12. he is a very disciplined person. examples:
13. he got up very, very early to read his bible and pray for his family... every day. he still does.
14. he runs 6 miles a day. and never mind that he used to do this in bright pink shorts when i was young and easily humiliated.
15. he made us cool stuff. like this spectacular barbie house complete with wall paper and carpet that matched the rooms of our house. (of course i'm not bitter that they didn't keep it for me to force my daughter to enjoy just as much as i did.)
16. he would have flowers delivered to us on valentines day. a bouquet for mom and a single flower for angie and i.
17. he told us all the time we were beautiful. even in the 80's when we could possibly have posed for an aqua net hairspray ad. (don't judge)
    
18. whenever we are visiting, he always gets up early with my kids and insists i go back to bed. and then when i get up he serves me lattes.
19. one time, i got to chose between a spanking or not having a cookie all weekend. i chose the latter. on sunday, he snuck me a cookie.
    
20. he's super easy to please. every year on his birthday (and i do mean EVERY year) all he asks for is a bag of peanut m&m's.
    
21. he did all the errand running for us growing up. he'd even go to the store and buy those "girl" things for us. and didn't seem to care when we teased him about coming home smelling like the latest cologne sample from walmart.
22. he let us be a part of whatever he was doing. we were such great little "helpers."
23. he finds joy in the simple things. growing up, i had countless far side jokes presented to me by a giggling dad, and i would always look back at him a little puzzled, like... i don't get it? and he would just laugh hysterically and walk off to the next sibling.
    
24. he loves football. and nascar as of late (as of late meaning i didn't actually have my growing up years listening to race cars barreling through my house at top volume) but one time, during a really important football game, the bionic woman was on and she was trapped in this underground tunnel and angie and i were dying to see how she would get out and he actually let us watch it and missed the end of the game.
25. he let us climb on the roof when he worked on the air conditioner. as a mother, i now understand why my mom would come out yelling at all of us. i mean, we were really, really little. it totally wasn't safe. (but it was SO much fun!)
26. he's passionate. about certain things. for instance, just say to him something like, "there should really be more gun control" or "i voted for obama" or "save the whales"

dad, i love you and wish i could be with you to celebrate your big day. but since i can't, i'll eat a bunch of junk food in your honor.

happy birthday.

four score and seven years ago...

presidents day offered us a great educational experience.

we got to mingle with our founding fathers...and great leaders...
hang with friends and make some great patriotic crafts...learn about the spindle and making thread and the inappropriateness of cleavage from clara barton...and learn how to more quietly whine for snacks during the gettysburg address.
it was a beautiful day, one which brought me great joy...

...especially since daddy could join us and keep mason entertained while ella and bennett participated in all things presidential.
so, from our family to yours... happy presidents day!

valentines

so when bennett saw the message on the white board yesterday: "happy valentine's day! xoxoxo" he quickly responded with: "no, instead lets write 'happy super sugary candy day!"
pretty much.

i started wondering yesterday why i had such a bad headache. possibly the cinnamon sugary toast, the m&m's from valentine bingo, the redvines from the licorice race, the sugar filled valentine package arriving promptly before lunch... or was it the screaming hyperactive children running circles around me and thoroughly enjoying the intense spike in their blood sugar?

valentine celebrations started friday night. we traded babysitting with dear friends (which of course means FREE!) and anthony and i celebrated love month with an awesome dinner, walk down main street, red velvet cake for 2 and of course a convenient stop at the goodwill for a steal on some new pants for bennett.

(of course no picture of this night because such things as unsuccessfully calming an irate 2 year old, searching for bennett's shoes, packing up wipes and filling sippy cups, retrieving a deep splinter from a tiny hand and hunting down jackets... all as we were trying to rush out the door, prevented me from remembering the camera.)

saturday night was ella's big date. with daddy. she started picking out her clothes the second she lifted her head off the pillow that morning.ella lives for date nights with daddy.
i can't say i blame her.

they went to a super fun place for pizza and were surprised with quite the fancy dessert (for free!!!) and then it was off to shop where he let her try on all kinds of clothes and lucked out and found this little gem for her to bring home and beg me to wear every single day.
(yes, date night involves buying her something. you're welcome future son-in-law.)

sunday night was bennett's date. lets just say it was pretty cute when he asked me, "mom, can we go on a date? but," pause and total seriousness... "i can't drive."so we thought it would be fun to go the same great little place as daddy and ella, only to find out that of course they don't serve pizza from that amazing brick oven on sunday nights. so why not head to baja fresh. i mean, i didn't put on a dress for nothing. and besides, they have chips! what more could you want? (or so the 4 year old is convinced)

and anyway, we can head back to that awesome restaurant for dessert where they scoop ice cream with teaspoons and then proceed to forget about you while your 4 year old begs to leave for a 1/2 an hour.

but hey... who's complaining?i got to spend my night with this handsome stud and all these ladies kept stopping and saying how incredibly handsome he is which all contributed to the reason he hates it when i make him wear that hat and tie in the first place. he'd rather be invisible and get no attention whatsoever.

which is perfect in like 10 years.

at the end of the night, he said to me, "thanks, mom. this was the most amazing night EVER!"

and that just makes my heart smile.

snow days?

so, i hear its been cold around the country.

ice storms, snow, canceled school.

i spoke with my brother the other day and the wind chill was -20 that morning.

(not to brag or anything... but...) i kinda like that i live where my kids can eat ice cream in the backyard.
(friends, family, are you reading this? please move here... you're gonna love it.)

on a more serious note...

so in the interest of keeping it real, not all of my life is full of sarcasm and the crazy stunts my kids pull.

somewhere between new years resolutions and the day o' fun at the zoo, i had a miscarriage.

i debated about posting this blog entry at all. its incredibly personal and might make some of my readers uncomfortable. like, dear friends who never knew i was pregnant in the first place (which was pretty much all of you, so please don't feel left out). or not so dear friends that are saying, "what?!?! you were going to have ANOTHER kid? you can NOT be serious!"

but the reality is, i have way more friends than not who have actually suffered a miscarriage themselves. this heartbreak is entirely too common and so i figured a little vulnerability on my behalf could possibly encourage someone else out there in blogland.

after the initial shock and hormone assault wore off, i'm actually doing quite well. i attribute this not as much to the excess of chocolate i consumed but rather the generous amount of prayers on my behalf.

its sad of course. and many other emotions at many different moments of the day, but ultimately, what really sums up my peace about the whole thing is this: there is no greater comfort than knowing God is in control of my life.

and i don't just say this because it is what i am supposed to say. i say it because it is an absolute certainty. there is a peace that surpasses all understanding that is found in God alone, and really, that is all it can be.

i realize the pain of going through a miscarriage at only 6 weeks with 3 other children is nothing compared to what others close to me have experienced... years of infertility, miscarriage after miscarriage and no other children to hold tight or distract you from yourself with spilled milk and lego towers and muddy windows and boisterous laughter. i recognize how incredibly blessed i am to have the precious sleep deficient children i do.
i am also blessed to have family and friends who love me and pray for me and encourage me. and i also learned a valuable lesson. never underestimate how powerful the simple act of dropping off flowers, a sweet card and doughnuts at someone's doorstep can be.

it was shortly after this, anthony and i were having an unrelated conversation about our current town really feeling like home. and while there are many things that make it completely heavenly here, the doughnut/card gesture is what i told anthony put everything in cement for me. friends who love me and encourage me when i'm hurting. who reach out and are there.

so there you have it... a little update on my life. i'll try to get back to something less serious tomorrow.

but in the meantime, should you (or your children) know my little ones, please know they are completely unaware of any of this. someday, of course, when they are older they will find out and ella will possibly say, "oh... is that the day you couldn't stop crying into your cereal bowl and you let us eat all kinds of junk food and watch way too many movies?"

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. - C.S. Lewis

my daddy is so special

by ella joy

my daddy is so special
i love him so much
i missed him when he was gone
now he is home

my favorite human in the world
is my daddy

he helps me fly my kite
he goes to work for me and my family
he drives the car for the family

yes, this is true
every word that i say in this poem

while i hear the words of this poem
it makes me feel so proud
'cause i love my daddy so much.
recently, anthony had a trip to costa rica.

(yes, some of us around here get to live exotic lives.)

(and "some" of us does not include me... not that i'm bitter about it or anything...)

so ella wrote this poem to welcome him home.

my second favorite thing about this poem is when ella dictated to me that daddy was her "favorite human" she sorta mumbled it.

so i asked for clarification and she looked at me all worried and said, "but does that hurt your feelings?"

a little girl loving her daddy more than any other human?

never.

my first favorite thing about this poem was the tears in daddy's eyes when he read it.

because she is definitely his favorite little human girl in the whole world.

my third favorite thing was when i asked ella if i could put this on my blog she hesitated at first. and after talking her into it, she agreed, "ok, mom. i'll let you do it if you pay me a quarter."

yep. that's my girl.

things i would spend my christmas money on if it weren't so depressing

1. a swing set. or some such fun for the kids in the backyard. i often wonder if they tire of digging in the same little patch of dirt or if bennett actually enjoys pulling ella around in the wagon while they play "queen." (poor little sucker)
2. a new vacuum cleaner. is it too much to want clean carpet without the lingering odor of a wet dog? and no, we don't have a dog. also, it would be nice to have a vacuum that can handle hair. it seems every time anthony vacuums he ends up crouched over it upside down and pointing out all the hair wrapped up inside it. long, dark hair. he doesn't come out and say it, but his eyes accuse: "this is yours." and i don't come out and say it but my eyes defend: "yes indeed. or ella's. and we don't exactly just yank it out of our head and scatter it about the floor to annoy you. it just happens."
3. scented candles. in light of number 2, i would love some yummy candles to cozy up the place. but why oh why are the good ones so dang expensive?
   
4. a new flatiron. it seems that things that plug in are practical. i don't want to spend my money on practical. i'd rather be excessive.
5. running pants. there are actually days its freezing around here in the morning. but i hate the idea of spending $25+ on a pair of pants i won't need in a few months. especially when i can just keep running in the shorts i've had for 10 years. nike never goes out of style... right?
6. books. dear library, can you branch out a bit? and i have no problem spending money on some great classics to add permanently to my bookshelves. but rather, i'd like my library to stock some great, possibly shallow, page turners.
7. an apron. i like all those fun little cute aprons i see everywhere. however, buying one for myself to do such a task as kitchen work... i'd probably put it on in the morning and end up wearing it all day. that's sorta depressing.
8. fun coffee cups. my "matching set" is down to 2. the others are a garage sale looking hodge podge. why do i not want to spend money on coffee cups? i don't know... maybe because they hide out in the cupboard all day.
9. place mats for my table. something besides the plastic map of america and abc's. i'd like some cute ones that can sit on my table and make it look all pretty. the impracticality of this purchase is the 3 little children in my home. enough said.
   

mud painting

the artist:

Boy, (noun): a noise with dirt on it. ~ Not Your Average Dictionary

beach

and really, who needs pants anyway?

day o' fun

nothing wraps up a week of studying about elephants like a trip to the zoo.

and nothing is as fascinating to a 4 year old than the size of its poop. quite remarkable actually. and later noted as the highlight of bennett's day. "mom, i still can't believe how big that poop was."so the zoo is always fun. and when you tire of looking at such amazing creatures as lions and giraffes and gigantic elephants (which shockingly, young children quickly do...) there is of course the cardboard sliding hill of fake grass. oh... so that's why the poor kid has been complaining of his elbow hurting. nothing like a little rug burn.
hours and hours of fun. thinking of having one installed at my house.

and the highlight of the day for me was watching my kids enjoy each other. ella and bennett navigating the map and directing our every step, the generous sharing of snacks, giggling together about poop, contagious excitement over the snorting pigs, and really, just being the 3 greatest kids around.