this blessed life

hard working man

2012-01-06T15:13:00.000-08:00

my dad retired at the beginning of this year. after 34 years of working as a radiology technician.

34 years.

basically, for all of my life, my dad has worked the same job. every day. every week. every year.

and not all of those years were easy ones.

the man epitomizes hard work. perseverance. discipline.

when you are young, you don't think to say, "wow, dad. thanks for going to work every day and providing for your family." instead, its something along the lines of, "i wanna go to disneyland." and "why can't we just order pizza instead of eating bean burritos?" or "but everyone else is wearing guess jeans!"

but now that i'm older and wiser, i am more aware of the sacrifices that were made by my dad. the middle of the night calls he had to answer. the less than enjoyable supervisors he had to endure. (like that one who took the vacation that Kodak offered my dad for solving their film problem and the supervisor lied and said my dad didn't want a free vacation to the east coast and took it for himself! the nerve!)

he often walked to and from work so we could have the car that sometimes worked.

and there were all those coins he'd save for us when my sister and i would walk over to the hospital after school to wait for our ride home and we'd go to the gift shop and pick out candy and then sit in the waiting room and watch tv.

or sometimes we'd play in the storage room where everyone's x-rays were filed and we'd pretend we were doctors and stuff. and we'd pull out x-rays and look at them (yeah, serious HIPAA violations here).

and of course there are all those lives he saved.

no really. like the broken necks he noticed that doctors didn't.

yeah. he's amazing.

so anyhow, all of this is to say thank you to my dad. for his hard work. for his example. for his sacrifice. and for all he has done in his life for others.

(its also a chance to hopefully make up for the fact that i didn't send him a card or anything. sorry, i've been a bit busy with my newborn.)

(i also must note that my amazing mom retired last year from her job as a nurse. she is every bit as deserving of a blog tribute about all her sacrifices and lives she saved. or even a card. but it all coincided with my miserable first trimester.)

(clearly, i have plenty of excuses for being completely self absorbed.)

merry christmas

2011-12-25T14:00:00.000-08:00

it's true. i did not send out a christmas card this year.

i realize how disappointed you must all be by this. sorry, i was just too busy and exhausted. birthing a human is a lot of work.

but totally worth it. i mean look at this little guy:

he's so sweet!

he's super chill and sleeps all the time. SUCH an easy baby...

(DNA tests this week to see if he was actually switched at the hospital. pretty sure my real child is out there crying his little head off all night long.)

the joy of breastfeeding

2011-12-17T11:06:00.000-08:00

good luck with that, mason

welcome to the world...

2011-12-11T10:40:00.000-08:00

Griffin Daniel

"every child born into this world is a new thought of God, an ever-fresh and radiant possibility." -kate douglas wiggin

(thankful we were able to nail down that middle name on the drive to the hospital the morning i was induced. because if we left it to me decide post delivery, his middle name would have been epidural. or pacifier. possibly vicodin or maybe even cranberry-juice-cocktail.)

a few million more pictures to come...

i am thankful

2011-11-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

for children's ibuprofen. and humidifiers. because i was actually wondering if bennett might stop breathing last night. and if his fever could possibly get any higher. but it was really sweet when this precious little sickling asked me if i was cold and tried to cover me up with his quilt as we laid on his floor at 1 am.
creamer. because coffee wouldn't be the same without it. and yes, i drink coffee. sometimes its even decaf.
that mason no longer wants me in the bathroom with him. he still wants pee-pee treats but he trusts me to take his word for it. this is very liberating and the real reason you wait until your child is 3+ before potty training. potty training: successful!
for wonderful family. and even though we aren't with any of you today because, lets face it, as much as i love you all, i love my proximity to the hospital, emergency medical procedures and epidurals a little more right now. but each of you are missed.
that maternity pants and the day o' gluttony coincide this year.
that i don't actually have to have green bean casserole on my menu this year. maybe its the name, maybe its the consistency of it, but its not my favorite. it is of course a favorite to my loved ones. even if they do drop it all on the floor. (yep, chad, this will haunt you forever. i'll make sure of it.)
a driven, motivated first born child who is insistent upon doing school work on thanksgiving. if only she could teach her brother to read, we'll be all set around here.

and of course a multitude of many, many obvious things, like my 3 perfect children and one on the way who will sleep through the night when we come home from the hospital and one day find the cure for cancer, my husband who pretty much rocks my world, my awesome savior Jesus Christ, this great country and our military, and a million other things i could list but i'd just sound like a copycat.

so, happy thanksgiving! and you know what the day after thanksgiving is? decorating for my favorite holiday... christmas! cozy christmas lights, candles, music, and the yummy baking calories that don't count for the entire month. love it!

pee-pee treats

2011-11-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

every weekend or prolonged period of time anthony is home, mason ends up with chonies on. which of course is extremely helpful to me and if he could, anthony would take over all undesirable duties i face like potty-training, childbirth, and teaching art. he loves me like that.

but come monday, mason is typically back in a diaper. i just haven't had it in me to focus on potty training while i'm busy homeschooling my other 2 children and trying to do everything i can to not get up and run to the bathroom every 25 seconds.

but let's face it. the clock is ticking. there is a newborn coming and mason will one day get a drivers license and go off to college and i can't avoid potty training forever.

so on my way home from my doctor appointment last week (the one where i was officially given the green light to not be on bedrest (unless of course there is laundry or cooking to be done) and the hopeful possibility of not facing the dreaded c-section (yay!)) i stopped to pick up gummy worms.

when i got home i pulled them out of my purse and announced with great enthusiasm "pee-pee treats!" to which everyone danced around and squealed in excitement. (really, you can trick your kids into being excited about almost anything at this age. it's a correlation between level of expressed exhilaration and amount of sugar at hand)

and here is the real trick in making sure the pee-pee treats work.

enter my brilliance: "ella and bennett, you can get one too, each time mason goes in the toilet!"

potty training on my part? done.

therapy for my older children who will one day look back and say, wow, my mom actually had me potty train my little brother... only just beginning.

(i have no idea what mason is doing here...)

so now mason will be happily playing with his cars on the floor when he'll suddenly stand up and yell, "me pee-pee!" and ella and bennett will jump up from the table, pencils and math worksheets flying and grab him by the hand and race down the hallway and he'll squeal in delight as they open the potty chair lid for him and he'll say, "yay, me pee-pee party!" because, after all, who doesn't want a party in their honor every time they have to empty their bladder?

then he'll sit for a little while and everyone will expectantly watch as pure exuberance breaks across his face and he proclaims, "ME! PEE! PEE! YAAAYYYY! YAH-HOO!" and then he'll glance up at me and ask with an adorable, expectant, proud smile, "me worm treat?" and ella and bennett will jump up and down and tell him how proud they are of him and then they all race to line up in front of the pantry door to receive their reward.

this, people, is the secret to potty training.

it has gone amazingly smooth. my sister asked me if i make them wipe him. i laughed and said of course not. then i got to thinking... maybe for 2 worm treats?

kidding, kidding...

we ran out of worm treats yesterday. i figured, hey, we have the hang of it now, should it really matter anymore? so i told mason when he was getting the last one and that now he can have stickers.

this made logical sense to me. but i, of course, don't have the mind of a 3 year old.

so an hour later he jumps up, screams "me pee-pee!" and runs to the bathroom and i'm helping him get ready but before he'll go he looks at me very serious and says, "worm treat?" and i remind him there aren't any left but he can pick out whatever sticker he wants.

he just stares at me, pulls back up his chonies and says, "me no pee-pee." and just like that he went on a pee-pee strike for the next couple of hours.

i then caved and started giving him chocolate chips. and right behind him are ella and bennett with their hands out. the family all sticks together over here. i'm just encouraging sibling unity when i keep handing out sugar.

you know, this is why we homeschool after all. while other kids are at recess or music class or conjugating spanish verbs at the public school, my kids get to watch their brother pee in a plastic chair for sugar.

but for sure, i'm gonna pick up some more this week and when i get home i'm going to announce with gusto, "laundry/mopping/cooking/sweeping treats!"

and then i'm going to show them the cleaning supplies.

hey, i'm onto something here.

the bedrest sentence

2011-11-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

bedrest has been official for the past month and will last for the rest of my life. or the rest of my pregnancy. both seem equally as long.

but i'm sure i'll survive.

with minimal complaining.

or not.

its that darn placenta causing problems and the goal is to keep this baby in for as long as possible. but i'm now 33 weeks so that's the good news.

bedrest is an interesting predicament when it is also an impossibility. i mean, i still have 3 kids who surround me every waking moment of the day.

so... a few observations/updates on bedrest:

1. how providential that my parents long-planned relaxing beach vacation could coincide so conveniently with my bedrest. so now, instead of lounging around on the beach reading and drinking tequila shots, they get to come dust my house, do my grocery shopping and shuttle my kids to swim lessons. lucky them.

2. i am still working on how to graciously say thank you. for instance, when my sweet friends plan meals for me and send out emails to my other dear friends so my family can be blessed and provided for, they may not understand that, "what!?! i'm gonna kill you!" actually means "thank you so much for your thoughtfulness." seriously, i have pretty amazing friends.

3. sometimes, my kids understand the meaning of bedrest. ella and bennett pretty much always get it, even if they are really sad that i won't take them to get a pumpkin. mason gets this sometimes. for instance, when he asks to be picked up and i say that i can't and he responds with a curious stare and a "oh, hurt you baby?" he seems to grasp the concept. however, when the bathroom is out of handsoap and he insists upon washing his hands RIGHT NOW in only this bathroom, no amount of yelling "i'm not getting up" down the hallway will prevent "need more heese (please). need more heese. need more heese." repeat 1 million times. that kid is tenacious and determined. if only he could focus his efforts at potty training himself.

4. potty training + bedrest = notgonnahappen

5. homeschooling 2 kids prevents me from having free time and actually enjoying bedrest by watching mindless tv, eating chocolate and sitting around with my feet up. instead i sit at the kitchen table and attempt to figure out history timelines and science experiments. oh, and art projects. (cringe)

6. medication to prevent contractions is not without its side effects. for instance: "insomnia" and "frequent urination." gee, thanks. like i needed any help with that.

7. conveniences of bedrest: what... laundry?... vacuuming?... cooking?... exercising?... grocery shopping?... being nice to my kids?... sorry, i'm on bedrest.

i must say, while i hate asking for help and accepting help while i sit around and do nothing, i am forever grateful to my amazing husband who continues to come home every day for lunch and never stops washing dishes and children and cleaning up the house. i was afraid he might be tempted to save himself and run for it, but he loves me and puts up with me. i'm so lucky.

also forever grateful to the lovely friends who brought us meals. i promise i'll still get your dishes back to you. oh, and also all those same friends who check in with me daily/weekly to make sure i haven't gone insane or tied up my children in the closet and also drop off treats on my doorstep like books and magazines and chocolate and donuts and freshly cut lavender. i'm so spoiled.

and of course my parents who sacrificed many days of a lovely vacation to come here and listen to me yell at my kids from the couch and intervened in order to still provide them with a peaceful childhood.

(movie night at grammy and poppa's condo... where the sugar flows and the fun never ends)

note: my parents do not drink tequila shots. at least... not that i know of?

words

2011-10-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

i read this early this morning (thank you, insomnia) and thought it was definitely worth passing along... to present and future parents:

words

her dad sure sounds completely awesome. almost as great as the man who raised me and the man i married.

almost.

note to that open house realtor and other random strangers:

2011-10-10T20:14:00.000-07:00

hi, allow me to introduce myself.

yes, i'm a homeschooling mom.

i love my kids and love the experience of homeschooling them.

i do not sit at home and weave together matching denim jumpers.

or sit around polishing up my gun collection.

so when you run into my innocent little 5 year old and ask the question, "so, where do you go to school?" please know i'm working on teaching him how to apply a filter to his mouth.

because while its true that i don't particularly want to enroll my kids in public school, the actual reason we homeschool is NOT because that "school down the street tells us that we come from monkeys and lots of other lies."

and then when you smile politely and say things like, "oh, i'm not sure that they teach -" and he emphatically interrupts you and says, "oh yes they do! my mommy says so!" well... its just that i'm not that extreme about it.

because one day this summer, during one of our many, many trips to the doctor for ella's mono adventure, bennett found a national geographic to peruse. and one very interesting, very detailed picture showed the evolution of monkey to man. this naturally fascinated him and he asked me about it so i took a few seconds to say that some people believe that there is not a God who created us and rather think that we came from monkeys.

he giggled because yes, even a 5 year old sees how ludicrous this is.

then a few days later i was explaining all the reasons i'm excited for homeschooling this year and how much fun it will be as a family and how great it will be to learn about God and the world he created.

and then i maybe mentioned how important it is for us to learn things according to the bible and that at public schools you don't really have that option. and the magazine article came up for about 2 seconds and i thought that was the end of it.

obviously it's not.

and while i try to coach bennett on how to better present us as a happy, loving family and not a bunch of bitter, angry, conservative freaks... well, he's 5 and it may take a little time for him to learn.

so, for all of you out there that we have offended because of his quick honesty, i'm truly sorry.

bedtime prayer

2011-09-25T13:18:00.000-07:00

last night, after reading a cute little story about a bear whose mommy tucked him in all cozy in his bed and gave him warm milk and kisses, i told my kids that there are many children around the world tonight who do not have mommys and daddys to kiss them goodnight. so maybe we can be praying for them, that God would watch over them and provide mommys and daddys for them.

ella and mason i'm pretty sure are paying absolutely no attention to me whatsoever.

my sensitive middle child is staring at me with huge, intent eyes. he very seriously asks me, “is there still slaves in the world?” to which i replied that yes, there are. there are many people kept in horrible situations with no one to comfort them tonight. we can always be praying against injustice and for God to protect them.

then i asked Bennett to pray first.

“dear God, we think of all the people who are slaves.” (he’s praying very slow and deliberate and very, very serious) “and we think of the man who is making them be slaves. and Lord, we pray that you would send someone to shoot him.” (it took everything in me not to laugh out loud. mostly because he was near tears in his sincerity.) then he continued, “and Lord, we think of the orphans.” (long pause) “and we pray the same thing. amen.”

so, be warned, oppressors of the world. the prayer of a righteous man (and of a sincere 5 year old) availeth much.

LOVE this girl

2011-09-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

been reading her blog for quite some time. you should too. go here.

now she has a book and i can't wait to get it.

amazima.org

an update

2011-09-19T16:50:00.001-07:00

(and way more information that most will care about... unless you are my mom or incredibly bored today. in which case, read on...)

so saturday morning started as a typical morning for me. rising way before the sun and cursing insomnia yet enjoying the quiet time of reading my Bible and following my wise sister's idea of making a thankful list in my journal every saturday.

helps tremendously with that whole perspective thing in life.

later in the early morning, it became evident that i needed to get myself on up to the hospital for some monitoring and baby checking. i'll spare you the graphic details, but lets just say i sorta started freaking out until i realized that if i freak out, my 3 little giggling children will start freaking out and we'll all spiral downhill.

so i put it in God's hands and got myself ready to head to the hospital. one big step in the morning was telling ella i wasn't going to make her soccer game. she was devastated. (she hates it when i miss her practice and daddy takes her. i ask her why she wants me there so bad. she says i'm more fun. i tell her this is impossible.) (truly)

so she cried and fortunately is still so blissfully self-absorbed it didn't occur to her to worry about the baby. total blessing.

said goodbye to the boys who may or may not have noticed i was eventually gone all day.

i drove myself to the hospital. i realize how crazy this sounds and anthony kept saying it just wasn't right and he should be taking me. but there was no way he was getting out of soccer dad duties for 2 games. after all, it was bennett's day for snacks.

priorities.

(i will insert here i was fine emotionally and in no pain. and we did have nana and papa here and i have plenty of friends i could have called who would have in a moment dropped their soccer mom duties to take me to the hospital so really, it was no big deal.)

so i was admitted and monitored and given meds and shots and had blood work and ultrasounds, all indicating this was just a result of my placenta previa and i wasn't in labor and the baby was fine. so then i had warm blankets tucked around me and drank cranberry juice cocktail and was served lunch i didn't have to cook and lemon meringue pie that reminded me of thanksgiving (my favorite day of gluttony) all while watching mindless tv (btw, who actually watches this "keeping up with the kardashians," why-won't-they-go-away train wreck? seriously.) (and also, why only 2 episodes on marathon saturday? i mean, what better way to check out and pass the hours) (ahem) i also got a nap and got to read my book... it was almost like a spa day.

although, shockingly, i was really, really sad about missing my kids soccer games and was literally fighting back tears when they each called me and told me all about the goal they almost scored. maybe there is a real true soccer mom hidden down deep in me somewhere...

i'm beyond relieved that everything was ok. and while i'm on precautionary bed-rest, i'm praying there are no complications or pre-term labor issues to deal with again.

(also... bed-rest???? i almost laughed at my doctor. right... 3 kids, homeschooling, soccer, awana, swim lessons...)

anyhow, i'm thankful that i have a peace i can't explain. it would be easy, and quite frankly natural to get really overwhelmed and anxious and fearful in the midst of this and yet by choosing to trust God early that morning, he filled me with his peace i can't explain. my life and my baby are completely out of my own control and fortunately rest entirely in the hands of God. it wasn't the tests and medicine and fantastic hospital staff that made everything ok, (although i'm thankful those cozy heated blankets were a tool in the process) but rather all of this is dictated by an awesome God who had every day of my life written before even one of them came to be.

there is a lot of peace found in sitting back, trusting him, and just enjoying the cranberry juice cocktail.

all about me

2011-09-12T12:15:00.000-07:00

an excerpt from bennett's all about me book: there are 2 reasons i love this.

number one: in the midst of the complete simplicity, he took the time to have daddy's arm extend down to him. absolutely precious.

number 2: i've never been this skinny, especially not now with the 3rd trimester looming in my very near future.

thanks, bennett.

so proud of you for knowing just how to suck up to your teacher.

remembering

2011-09-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

i don't particularly like that my children know the significance of september 11th.

not because i prefer them to be ignorant, but rather that such a horrible day would never have been seared into history.

this year, we ventured on over to pepperdine university (the school i would have never attended class... have you actually seen this place? on a gorgeous green cliff overlooking the pacific ocean? how does a college student focus here?) for an amazing september 11th memorial.2,977 flags on display.

each representing a life lost. completely moving. completely heartbreaking. should you actually be looking for an excuse to head to malibu, these flags will be on display until september 21.

homeschool

2011-09-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

so we officially started our school year this week and so far its gone quite well. i mean, what school year isn't going to start off great when the teacher is greeted with flowers and donuts and these adorable faces when arriving home from her early morning walk on the first day of school. ("early morning" because insomnia is still wrecking my life.)

the kids are excited about the year and about their new notebooks and jobs and workboxes and centers.

hoping this excitement will continue for another 100+ days...

the other day i asked ella, "so, what are some of the things you are excited about with homeschooling this year?" without hesitation she responds, "well. i'm excited that you won't be getting pregnant this time and there will be a tad bit more learning going on than last year."

well alrighty then.

leave it to your kids to be honest.

a few days ago i was talking to them about how excited i am for the opportunity to be their teacher this year and then i asked them if they remembered why it is we decided to homeschool.

"yes, because at that school down there," bennett points out the window. "they tell all kinds of lies that we came from monkeys and other stuff that isn't true. and so we are going to draw pictures of what's true and show people when they come to our house so they can believe in God."

well, ummm... i don't think that is exactly why we homeschool... but ok...

so... let the learning begin!

relentless

2011-09-06T07:12:00.000-07:00

there is something about being followed around by a whining boy and his bag of diapers that just makes me say... i give up.

diapers really are easier anyway. (don't judge)

yay for soccer

2011-08-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

its not that i completely despise soccer season.

i do love my kids and it is really fun to watch them play and enjoy themselves.

its just that soccer mom duties really interfere with my selfishness. and that's just plain annoying to me.

take for instance this weekend. thanks to this life sucking insomnia that is oppressing me, i had been up since 4 am on a saturday. all i desperately wanted was a nap.

but instead we found ourselves at the fields for not one but two afternoon games.

because now bennett has joined his sister in the soccer fun.

and what are the chances of getting the same color and same number as your sibling? i think its pretty cool.

ella... maybe not so much. who wants to match their little brother?

and how does bennett feel about it? well, he probably hasn't even noticed yet.

sometimes i wish i could be more like bennett. so carefree and happy and oblivious...

ella has really found her aggressive streak on the field (not that we didn't know it existed. it just hadn't manifested itself outside her dealings with me.) she did awesome and scored the first goal of the season! here's the picture: oh yeah, that's right. i was with my five year old's little bladder in the bathrooms and totally missed it.

and while i'm SO glad we don't still live in phoenix because the extent of my children's extra curricular activities would be indoor juggling... it was a little on the warm side. bennett also had his first game and loved it. good times for our little family.

only 9 more saturdays, 21 more practices, 4 snack duties, 2 picture times and an excessive amount of money spent on silly banners, hair ties, and end of the season parties to go!

yay for soccer!

mason

2011-08-24T13:48:00.000-07:00

he's gonna be 3 in 2 weeks.
will someone get over here and potty train him?

stat.

highly specialized training required. preferably navy seals, army ranger, counter terrorism or any other experience in cracking the strongest of all resistance.

be advised: this job is not for sissies.

the great outdoors

2011-08-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

so the last time we went camping was 6 years ago.this little precious angel was up all night and even though we put our tent far away from my sisters family, the woods are not sound proof and i'm sure we kept the whole forest up.

then, on day 2, it started raining.

and never stopped.

so we did what any logical person would do and packed up all our stuff and headed for our parents house. i'm sure they were thrilled to see our filthy faces.
after all, we brought a package of donuts with us.

and then after ella, there was bennett. then there was mason. and there was very little sleep mixed in there. so while camping occasionally came up as a thrilling adventure for our family, we always opted instead for our own beds and stay-at-home sanity.

but now that insanity has become the new norm we decided it was TIME!

time to head out and enjoy God's beautiful creation. (especially before this next little one comes and i never leave the house again.)

so we ventured to the mountains and had a fantastic time.

we saw the giant sequoias that have been firmly rooted for thousands of years. and yes, i'm certain these were far more fascinating to anthony and i than our children. they got excited about the ones you could walk inside and would say, "wow, cool..." but were way more interested in having a snack and hopefully seeing a moose. (which of course we did not.) but i must just say about these trees... God is pretty fantastic. the details of his creation are simply amazing.
back at camp the kids kept busy making a "wood store" and for the life of me i can't figure out why they were surprised i wouldn't give them actual dollar bills for their wood. surely they know how cheap i am by now. we played tarzan caused serious anxiety in dear old mommy
and enjoyed all kinds of big and little creations.
there was some creek playing, nature walks, bear fear and most of all... the joy of dirt. the clothes have come clean but the memories will last forever.

we went camping

2011-08-13T19:41:00.000-07:00

and didn't even get eaten by bears.more to come after some serious baths and a few hundred loads of laundry.

gramma D

2011-08-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

so yes, its been awhile since i've posted.

other than mourning over the fact that i'm not having a girl, not much else is going on around here.

well, other than a mono patient being almost completely healed, fun trips to the beach, visits with dear family and just the typical i love living in southern california summer.

while anthony has been in costa rica, roughing it for the Lord, we got to have a visit with grammy and grandma darlene.
it was such a treat to have them here. (not like grammy is old news or anything) but it was especially nice to have gramma D make the trip.

i have such found memories with my gramma D. she's always been simply amazing. generous, giving, kind, joyful.me and gramma D.

(and that cute girl coming out of the house is my cousin lisa. apparently, according to every adult relative we have, we couldn't be left alone in the same room as children or we'd practically kill each other. but we grew up to be best friends and totally love each other even though i can't get her to play another game of words with friends with me.)

we used to visit gramma back in nebraska and it never ceased to amaze me how hard working she was, running a farm and always having enough energy to put up with the gaggles of grandchildren invading her house for the summer.

making us lemonade dessert, not yelling at us when we picked all the petals off her roses...the family. gramma D is second from the left. (i'm of course the adorable child on the left.)

(i'm not sure why she isn't smiling here. rare, because she was always smiling. even when she cooked all those elaborate meals for all of us and instituted that nonsense about never ever ever putting the saucepans on the table and always always always using a serving dish in order to wash dishes pretty much around the clock.)

and then she moved closer and we'd visit her in phoenix and she'd always open her home to us and even let me live with her for a year after college. i've never heard the woman complain. and it wasn't like her life was easy. she's been a caregiver to almost everyone close to her and has tragically buried too many of her own children. she has a true servant's heart and i admire her sacrifice, peace, and joy.

when i was first getting to know anthony, i was telling him how my grandma was pretty much a superhero and how she could do anything at all. and he's nodding to me and smiling because everything i said back then was completely mesmerizing. but he probably didn't really believe me but as if on cue, she walked around the corner with a chainsaw and said, "well, i gotta go take care of that tree out there that is starting to scrape the roof." he's never doubted me since.

i'm so glad my kids could experience their great grandma. and while i wish they knew the gramma from a few years ago, i'm sure they'll still find memories of her whistling at the birds and talking to every single person we see extremely delightful. and while they are still trying to sort out things like why are the puzzle pieces supposed to be upside down? and isn't grammy actually her daughter, not her nurse? and why am i supposed to raise my hand over my head when i cough? they still really enjoyed having her here.
she's a kid herself, as happy as can be.

and i must say, she makes getting old look like a whole lot of fun.so the amazing women in my life went back to arizona and anthony returns tonight!

and while i'm thrilled about the fact that while many men out there travel frequently for work and are gone for excessive hours every week building corporations and generating revenue and my husband gets to go on missions trips and tell people about Jesus (!!!!), i'm absolutely ecstatic that he'll be home tonight and my boys will again have someone tossing them around and slamming into them with pillows.

because lets face it, there is just no substitute for daddy in the life of little boys. and based on the amount of screaming and restlessness going on here, they. have. missed. him.

boys.

have i've mentioned how thrilled i am about another boy?

dear son,

2011-07-12T14:50:00.000-07:00

its true. i really wanted you to be a girl.

but i've decided to love you anyway.

sincerely,
mommy

ps sleep is a good thing.

adventures at the beach

2011-07-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

saturday started as a cozy morning with breakfast at the beach.

(that is, if you actually count doughnuts as breakfast and not just some fancy, sugar filled, fried dessert they just so happen to serve in the morning...)we watched surfers, dolphins, beach tractors. all with cozy, cloudy, perfect weather.

the kids dug and splashed and ran their little legs off.
ella and bennett made a new friend and they dug pools and made houses and made me slightly concerned that my little mono girl was possibly overdoing it. but to see this huge smile on her face... i just decided to let her have her fun. and then, there was the huge wave that crashed into the kids. all fun and games until it carried mason away, underwater and all, while i'm grabbing for him and his shirt is getting ripped out of my hands and my feet get stuck in a hole and i can't reach him and i'm panicking because i can just see part of his swimsuit while all of him is rolling away in the water and my legs won't move fast enough...

and then ella's new friend's daddy came to the rescue and snatched mason up before he was washed out to sea. (he also just so happens to be ryan shappelle from 24, and also stars in naughty shows like sopranos and nurse jackie that i've never seen. but nevertheless, he spent most of the day with us and was super nice and will forever be my hero for saving my son's life.)

my "subtle picture" of our new friend, lifesaver, CTU director...
anyhow, it was horrible and dramatic and i stopped shaking by dinner.

mason, as exasperating as you can be sometimes, i would have been horribly devastated if you drowned.

so glad you lived to wake me up 3 times last night...

"wow, being sick is sometimes a little bit of fun." -ella

2011-07-06T15:02:00.000-07:00

thanks to many wonderful people in our lives, ella has been sufficiently spoiled.

care packages, visitors, and even a gift card for when she's feeling up for some ice cream.

there is something special about people loving on your kids.

so... thanks, people.

and as a result of all the crafty gifts she has received, she's been all about art lately. this weekend, while the germ-free part of the family was at church, ella said, "i have art class all set up for us."

there is something therapeutic about leaving the dirty dishes to sit and draw with your 6 year old. and i must say, there is an advantage to having just experienced the misery known as the first trimester.

compassion.

the feeling of not wanting to do a single thing, like get off the couch, brush my teeth, or smile at my children, is still very fresh in mind. that is why i have no problem saying, "sure, you can watch another movie. no, you don't need to clean up your room. why, of course you can have oreos for breakfast."

there were days just a couple months ago i wasn't sure i was going to make it. all i could do was count down the minutes to naptime. i'd get mason to sleep, allow the older two to do whatever quiet thing they could find and remind them they may not come out of their room unless the house is on fire...

and i'd slip into a coma.

and then it never failed. the sweet voice of my precious middle born child would penetrate my much needed sleep.

"mommy..."

i didn't even let him finish. i figured he'd be crying if his arm were severed.

"GET. OUT."

"but mommy -"

"get out now, bennett. and don't come back in."

i'd fall back asleep. then he'd come back and whisper. (like that is so much better.)

"mommy, can we have fruit snacks?"

"mommy, i'm really sorry to wake you up again, but ella was just touching my legos."

"mommy, i don't want to wake you up but i have to go to the bathroom and is it ok if i flush the toilet or is that too loud?"

"mommy. i'm really sorry to wake you up again. but... mommy, ella called me a peabody!"

oh. dear. God. help me.

its pretty safe to say that the first trimester was not my most effective stage of motherhood. hopefully that thing about children being resilient is true.

anyhow, back to ella. she's doing ok. she insists she's totally fine. never mind the temperature. the persistent irritability, the exhausted look always on her face. but hopefully she'll be completely recovered sometime in the next couple weeks.

E-L-L-A

2011-06-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

dear sick little ella had to go to the doctor yesterday. for mono confirmation and poking and prodding of liver and spleen.

it sure wasn't fun.

so imagine the delight at seeing this waiting for her at home.
do we have awesome friends or what?

the leamans are amazing. i knew christina was going to get her "a little something" but had no idea she'd spend her whole day creating this masterpiece of thoughtfulness for ella.

ella was absolutely beaming. she felt so special.

creative contents of each bag:

now, doesn't that just inspire you to go out and do something incredibly thoughtful for everyone you know?

(i'm pretty sure ella has not set that clipboard down since she got it...)

sorry, chad

2011-06-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

the joy of having a little brother is that there is always an opportunity to tease him.
no matter how many years pass, certain things never get old. like teasing him about his big head, warning him about the green bean casserole every thanksgiving, that early morning he ran home shirtless and shoeless in the winter after the truck ran out of gas...

and one of our favorites... getting mono.

from kissing a girl named "monica."

naturally, renamed "mono-ca."

could the girl have a more perfect name?

only an older sister can take such an unfortunate period of misery in a little brother's life and turn it into something to laugh about.

clearly, i wasn't around much when he was suffering. i think i was at college. or just not paying attention to him. i was a teenager. i was self absorbed.

this leads me to my revelation of how heartless i was.

ella has been sick for awhile. really sick. fever, nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite (this is a big one. if the 104 on the thermometer didn't tell me anything the refusal of fruit snacks spoke volumes) then her lymph nodes started swelling to such a degree they were actually visible.

this freaks a mom out.

we of course went to the doctor. he ordered blood work. ella was a champ. i had to drag the whole clan with us and the boys did amazing too... waiting for an eternity, standing against the wall and "not moving a single inch or else!" while ella got poked and prodded.

and then we discovered she has mono. which is really sad of course, but welcome news when your paranoia has considered far worse options.

i called anthony and told him. naturally, how can he not respond with, "but she hasn't even been around mono-ca." (see, it will just always be funny)

but watching her misery, laying around, not wanting to eat, looking so sad... i actually feel a little sorry for chad after all these years.

maybe i do have heart after all.

so chad, even though you probably aren't reading this, sorry for making fun of you.

and mostly, sorry for continuing to make fun of you. because even though i now feel bad about the suffering you went through, i'm probably not going to stop.

because even though i love you, you are my favorite family member to pick on.
that should make you feel good, right?

coming this december

2011-06-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

better be a girl.

memorial day

2011-05-30T20:24:00.000-07:00

"A nation that fails to honor its heroes will soon have no heroes to honor." -Winston Churchill
and what better place to continue contemplation of our heroes than the beach.

notice the hand-holding? i love it.
self-induced rest time.
who knew this kid had an off-switch?or at least a pause button?
happy memorial day. thank you to those who make our freedom possible.

how did i let this happen...

2011-05-22T13:09:00.000-07:00

coming this thursday: awana awards night.

the year is wrapping up (no tears in anthony's eyes. aka "mr. super cubbie daddy helper").

it is scheduled for THIS thursday. as in like 5 more nights.

five. MORE. nights.

just saying.

not that awards ceremonies are all that high on my list of fun things to do.

that is, unless i'm anticipating my little perfect first born getting recognized for all of her hard work completing 4 books in a 6 month time period.FOUR books. pretty big deal. even if i am just a proud mom.

so i pictured myself sitting there, proud (possibly smug), maybe teary eyed, cheering, photographing... while they announced to the shocked and completely impressed audience how amazing my daughter is.

there would probably be a standing ovation. maybe autograph requests. bible college recruiters.

so this past thursday (yes, this PAST thursday) imagine my shock when ella comes home with a trophy.

ummm... what did you get a trophy for? is this just preparation for next week when they give you a pure gold medal and rename the city in your honor?

i was so confused. everyone knows awards night is NEXT thursday.

so i interrogate her.

me: so why did you get a trophy?
ella: because i did the first book. then i reviewed it. then i did another book. then i did another book. then i did another book.
me: but... umm... so... did they give this to you in front of everyone?
ella (big smile): yeah.
me: like... was it a big deal?
ella: well, i kinda don't think the other kids cared, but everyone clapped real hard. and everyone else seemed excited.
me ("everyone else"????): um... but... i thought awards night was next week. i'm so confused. why did they give it to you this week?
ella: i don't know. but you could have come and taken pictures like all the other moms.
me: WHAT?!? all the other moms? who told them but didn't tell me?
ella shrugs, and really doesn't seem to care.
me: did anyone else get a trophy?
ella: just one girl. she's in second grade.
me: but... was her mother there?
so i'm so upset with myself and i apologize to ella over and over again. how could i miss this? she keeps telling me its really no big deal. how do i explain its a big deal to ME and my motherly pride!?!

please tell me, why on earth a trophy is not passed out on awards night? anthony tells me its because awards night is more to honor the entire awana group and pass out awards to high schoolers and kids who have memorized like the whole bible or something. they don't have time on a night like that to recognize all the individual kids.

please. like a i need a practical explanation when we are talking about my daughter.

anyhow, all my capitalizing might indicate to you how upset i still am about this.

usually, anthony would have been there. cubbies is over by that time and he and bennett hang in the back of the room for the bible story and flannel graph fun.

but not this week.

and let me tell you why.

bennett got recognized for his birthday. they sang to him, gave him a fun birthday hat, and an awesome bag stuffed full of goodies... with his NAME on it.

and some evil little child who may or may not end up in prison some day, stole it.

sure, it could have been an accident. he (or she) could have accidentally moved bennett's cubbie bag and craft and mistakenly thought the birthday bag was for them... even though it wasn't their birthday and their name isn't spelled B.E.N.N.E.T.T.

but i doubt it.

so anthony and the other leaders scoured the place searching for bennett's bag while he desperately fought back his tears.

and this all took place during ella's trophy reception. where everyone else was there to cheer her on because not only did she accomplish a pretty significant fete by memorizing so many verses, she was apparently able to do it with absolutely no parental involvement whatsoever.

and to think, i was at home putting mason to bed early and watching season 3 of gilmore girls.

i'm such a failure.

best mom ever

2011-05-08T10:23:00.000-07:00

happy mother's day to the amazing godly woman who made my childhood pretty terrific, became my best friend for life, and can make a perm look totally hot.

i love you, mom.

cousin fun

2011-05-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

the only thing i miss of living in phoenix: people.

and specifically for this post, my sister and her family.i don't get to watch my niece and nephews grow up (on a regular basis). no more meeting in the middle at a park or air conditioned mall. or convenient family barbecues. or sitting and chatting with my sister about anything from homeschooling to parenting to how our mom used to torment us as kids when she kicked us out of the van at the corner by the high school making us walk ACROSS THE INTERSECTION instead of pulling in the parking lot to drop us off like civilized human beings because we were so late...

so, when i was informed my sisters family was planning a trip to southern california, i jumped on the opportunity to crash their vacation!

oh what fun!
the kids have so much fun playing together. (minus that little detail about mason constantly picking on josh and pulling his ears) and we have so much fun sitting in the beach chairs and watching them.

as a child, i wondered why my mom never wanted to jump the waves with me. i mean, why was she missing out on all the ocean fun and just sitting and talking to other grown-ups. how b-o-r-i-n-g.

yet another mystery solved now that i am older and wiser.
one of the really great things about hanging out with my sisters kids is the simple fact that we both came from the perfect family and as a result are raising perfect families and therefore, our kids will never be a bad influence on each other.

ever.

and these two girls:
peas in a pod.

i love watching them together. they get enough time together to enjoy the benefits of sisterhood without actually having to share a room, fight over shotgun, or argue who is going to put the milk away.

so while hanging out in our room one day, ella finds the gideon bible in the drawer. ecstatic joy upon this discovery as she exclaims, "mom! the people here believe in Jesus!"
so with the bible on the table, conversation turns to other things. like the motel phone.

grace: "wouldn't it be funny if we called up people we didn't know?"
(giggles)
ella: "yeah! we totally should! and then we can read them the bible!"
grace (jumping out of her seat): "yes! and then everyone can know about Jesus!"
ella: "we can just start at the beginning... 'in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth...' and we'll keep going until they believe in God!"
grace: "this is such a good idea!"

squeals, screams and jumping around in circles...

(and no, i didn't let them.)

i'm so proud of my little over zealous evangelist. we've come a long way from "is your refrigerator running?"

awana fun

2011-04-15T14:56:00.000-07:00

ella is an over achiever. this she did not get from me, unfortunately, yet i'm proud of her nevertheless.
we signed her up for her first year of awana. and then discovered that it fell on the same night as soccer practice, a commitment we had already made. so she started in december when soccer was over.

so far behind? not this girl. she got the sparkies book that lasts the average kid the entire year.

but we all know any child of mine is not average. she finished in a couple of weeks.

then she got the extra credit book.

finished that in a couple of weeks.

she is now on her 4th book. the girl is amazing. i told her that if she memorized the entire bible her daddy would buy her a car.

"how about a dollhouse instead?"

sure.

i overheard her telling a friend of mine this incentive and then followed it up with, "i'm working on it." true story. she has most of the first chapter of james memorized.

she puts me to shame.

bennett has eagerly anticipated his opportunity to join cubbies. "cubbie-holes" as he called it. (preschool version of awana)
a spot finally opened for him about a month ago. attached to the open spot for a cubbie is the exciting opportunity (obligation) for parents to volunteer their time overseeing rambunctious 4 year-olds and their quest to learn about Jesus. praise the good Lord for anthony. and let's just say... oh boy. don't be afraid to pray for him. (and so glad its him and not me. and no, i don't feel guilty about this. i do childbirth. he does cubbies.)

so each week bennett has a verse to learn and a story to read about luv e. lamb and some other very preschoolly-titled animals. and then i sign under the verse that we have reviewed it together. after the verse part, is this extra credit section. if he does the "review" he gets 3 apple stickers on his page.

"mommy, we have to do this page. i love it. i LOVE apple stickers!"

so yesterday i get to that part and it says something like: "teach your child about life and plant seeds with him. give him the responsibility of watering them and teach him about how things grow."

seriously? i can't be the only mom who waits until 4:30 the day of awana to complete this.

dirt, plastic cups, boys playing in the sink... all don't mix so well with getting dinner ready in time to scoot them on out the door.

so in my brilliance, i decide this morning i should look at the review for next week. get a head start and all.

oh, and what does it say? "encourage your child to tell someone about the Lord Jesus." example: "your child could help you serve in some way such as singing a duet with you at church."

right...

i can't even imagine calling my pastor and saying, "hey, can you squeeze bennett and me in between worship and announcements? we want to sing this little light of mine because i have absolutely no dignity whatsoever."
i think i'm going to head out and buy an entire book of apple stickers. he can have as many he wants.

daddy who?

2011-04-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

since wednesdays are the days anthony heads off before sunrise for prayer and other spiritual leader type things with the men at church, it is naturally a gloomy day around here.

mason wakes up with his typical calling for daddy which turns into hysterics at the sight of me.

major disappointment.

then bennett walks out with his blankie and sleepy eyes and instantly jolts awake when perusing the room and realizes with dread, "daddy's at bible study? oh... nuts."

ella's observation of, "well, its just gonna be a boring rainy day of nothing fun..." sorta made me giggle and sorta made me wonder where these precious little complainers came from.

so, it became fort day.

this is typically daddy's territory. for a couple reasons.
a. he's more fun than me.
b. he's WAY more fun than me.

after the first sheet bennett starts in with, "ok, mommy. we are going to need a lot more and what daddy does is-"

yeah, no comparing. i have something to prove here, so stand back.
so pretty much, they were amazed. the fort had 2 rooms, one for all their "pets" and one for us to do school. and plenty of secret hiding spots. and i even gave them flashlights. and snacks.

i mean, do mommys get any cooler than this?

i was feeling pretty proud of myself.until i heard bennett say to ella, "wow, daddy must really be teaching her some things about forts."

yeah, there's just no getting around it. daddy rules.

who, me?

2011-03-28T16:23:00.000-07:00

catching up

2011-03-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

i've been pretty bad about updating the blog lately. i blame this partly on such things as homeschooling, cleaning, exhaustion... but mostly, i blame it on jane eyre.

i've been hopelessly absorbed in 554 pages of exceptional british literature.

and now its over.

sigh.

i miss jane.

but to catch you up on other news...

in celebration of our big 10 years of marriage, we had ourselves a little ~~romantic~~ getaway. it was a spontaneous family trip to santa barbara and while it did not involve sunset walks on the beach, leisurely dinners, gazing into each others eyes over candlelight, or sleeping in, it was still super fun.
the highlights:

beachfront bike rides
sea life spotting on the pier
the never ending bowl of completely amazing salsa at dinner
observing a drastic transition in our perspective during a beach front vacation: "why don't we spend the morning at the pool. after all, we can go to the beach anytime."

convincing ella that my sweater looked perfectly stylish on her as a substitute for the one i forgot to pack and experiencing dreaded glimpses of what life will be like with a teenager as she constantly (and very dramatically) exclaimed "this is so embarrassing!"
my favorite part was the knock on the door, the bottle of wine "compliments of the hotel" and the wonderful, yet hesitant "happy anniversary" greeting from the bellboy as he curiously took in the 3 children jumping happily on the bed.

for sure in another 10 years we'll actually have a quiet, relaxing, kid free get-away.

even if we have to take turns.

10

2011-03-09T06:53:00.000-08:00

ten years ago today, i was riding in a horse drawn carriage in a beautiful dress, walking down a rose strewn aisle and saying "i do" to my best friend.

and continuing with the "walk down memory lane" theme, here's some reasons i'm glad anthony chose me for happy ever after:

we make gorgeous children. (this statement may sound a little conceited. that's because it totally is.)
he listens to me and all my ramblings and usually comes to the natural conclusion that i'm brilliant and always right.
he's super handy. he can fix anything. like when my blow dryer got stuck on low or whenever our car makes some sort of crazy noise or any of the obnoxious loud toys we have strewn about our house.
not only can he fix anything, he can make anything. like when i say, "i think it'd be fun to make the kids room into like a surf shack..." he makes surf boards and a loft and all sorts of fun stuff. he's pretty spectacular.
he enjoys my cooking and even fakes enthusiasm at leftovers.
he encourages me to have time away with friends or weekends with my family or a nap or a break of any sort and does super fun things with the kids.
he's thoughtful and fun. one time on a camping trip, he packed the tv and the generator and we had a midnight movie under the stars. (this was ages ago when there wasn't a such thing as portable dvd players)
he makes really, really good pasta sauce. and in large quantities. i find great comfort in the tupperware stacked in the freezer that tells me there is always a dinner option waiting at my fingertips.
he's a great dad. in so, so many ways. one which i greatly appreciate: he not only taxis the kids to their activities such as soccer and awana, but he actually volunteers his time as a coach and cubbie's leader. he does these things because he loves his kids. and i love that i get to stay home and vacuum and wash dishes and read people magazine.
he's so helpful around the house. all i have to do is make some comment about how i need to clean and he's getting out the comet and the mop and the vacuum.
he's my favorite person to laugh with. after 10 years we've developed a similar sense of humor. we can be somewhere that it totally isn't appropriate to laugh at something in particular but we know its funny for some random reason and we'll just kinda exchange a look that says something like "we are the funniest people ever." it feels good to have someone know you so well.
he's a hard-working, godly man who is full of integrity, loyalty and honesty.

happy anniversary. i love you.

and now i leave you with the worlds most ridiculous wedding picture: did our photographer hate us or something?

happy birthday, dad!

2011-03-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

my dad turns 60 today. SIXTY! its crazy. that used to be so old. but when 33 became younger than it once was, so did 60. my dad is awesome and here's why:

he loves Jesus. for real.
he loves my mom. a lot.
he loves us kids. (how could you not?) (poor chad)
the grandkids are so awesome to him they practically walk on water.
one time, back in the years when the entire solar system revolved around being cool and accepted my dad actually took my sister and me into the guess store and bought us a pair of GUESS JEANS! it was huge. we didn't exactly have the money for such excessive frivolousness. yet, he knew how important it was to us to have a triangle on our rear.
he didn't make us eat our brussel sprouts. in fact, he'd secretly let us empty them in the trash when mom left the kitchen.
he did really fun rides when we were little and all 3 of us could hang on one arm.
he made us pancakes every saturday morning for breakfast. he still does when we visit.
he makes fantastic strawberry preserves.
he makes the worlds greatest homemade ice cream.
he used to take us driving when we were younger out on this deserted dirt road on the weekends. it was SO much fun and i always wondered why mom didn't come along. i'm now a mom and i wonder this no more.
he is a very disciplined person. examples:
he got up very, very early to read his bible and pray for his family... every day. he still does.
he runs 6 miles a day. and never mind that he used to do this in bright pink shorts when i was young and easily humiliated.
he made us cool stuff. like this spectacular barbie house complete with wall paper and carpet that matched the rooms of our house. (of course i'm not bitter that they didn't keep it for me to force my daughter to enjoy just as much as i did.)
he would have flowers delivered to us on valentines day. a bouquet for mom and a single flower for angie and i.
he told us all the time we were beautiful. even in the 80's when we could possibly have posed for an aqua net hairspray ad. (don't judge)
whenever we are visiting, he always gets up early with my kids and insists i go back to bed. and then when i get up he serves me lattes.
one time, i got to chose between a spanking or not having a cookie all weekend. i chose the latter. on sunday, he snuck me a cookie.
he's super easy to please. every year on his birthday (and i do mean EVERY year) all he asks for is a bag of peanut m&m's.
he did all the errand running for us growing up. he'd even go to the store and buy those "girl" things for us. and didn't seem to care when we teased him about coming home smelling like the latest cologne sample from walmart.
he let us be a part of whatever he was doing. we were such great little "helpers."
he finds joy in the simple things. growing up, i had countless far side jokes presented to me by a giggling dad, and i would always look back at him a little puzzled, like... i don't get it? and he would just laugh hysterically and walk off to the next sibling.
he loves football. and nascar as of late (as of late meaning i didn't actually have my growing up years listening to race cars barreling through my house at top volume) but one time, during a really important football game, the bionic woman was on and she was trapped in this underground tunnel and angie and i were dying to see how she would get out and he actually let us watch it and missed the end of the game.
he let us climb on the roof when he worked on the air conditioner. as a mother, i now understand why my mom would come out yelling at all of us. i mean, we were really, really little. it totally wasn't safe. (but it was SO much fun!)
he's passionate. about certain things. for instance, just say to him something like, "there should really be more gun control" or "i voted for obama" or "save the whales"

dad, i love you and wish i could be with you to celebrate your big day. but since i can't, i'll eat a bunch of junk food in your honor.

happy birthday.

four score and seven years ago...

2011-02-21T15:59:00.000-08:00

presidents day offered us a great educational experience.

we got to mingle with our founding fathers...and great leaders...
hang with friends and make some great patriotic crafts...learn about the spindle and making thread and the inappropriateness of cleavage from clara barton...and learn how to more quietly whine for snacks during the gettysburg address.
it was a beautiful day, one which brought me great joy...

...especially since daddy could join us and keep mason entertained while ella and bennett participated in all things presidential.
so, from our family to yours... happy presidents day!

valentines

2011-02-15T15:22:00.000-08:00

so when bennett saw the message on the white board yesterday: "happy valentine's day! xoxoxo" he quickly responded with: "no, instead lets write 'happy super sugary candy day!"
pretty much.

i started wondering yesterday why i had such a bad headache. possibly the cinnamon sugary toast, the m&m's from valentine bingo, the redvines from the licorice race, the sugar filled valentine package arriving promptly before lunch... or was it the screaming hyperactive children running circles around me and thoroughly enjoying the intense spike in their blood sugar?

valentine celebrations started friday night. we traded babysitting with dear friends (which of course means FREE!) and anthony and i celebrated love month with an awesome dinner, walk down main street, red velvet cake for 2 and of course a convenient stop at the goodwill for a steal on some new pants for bennett.

(of course no picture of this night because such things as unsuccessfully calming an irate 2 year old, searching for bennett's shoes, packing up wipes and filling sippy cups, retrieving a deep splinter from a tiny hand and hunting down jackets... all as we were trying to rush out the door, prevented me from remembering the camera.)

saturday night was ella's big date. with daddy. she started picking out her clothes the second she lifted her head off the pillow that morning.ella lives for date nights with daddy.
i can't say i blame her.

they went to a super fun place for pizza and were surprised with quite the fancy dessert (for free!!!) and then it was off to shop where he let her try on all kinds of clothes and lucked out and found this little gem for her to bring home and beg me to wear every single day.
(yes, date night involves buying her something. you're welcome future son-in-law.)

sunday night was bennett's date. lets just say it was pretty cute when he asked me, "mom, can we go on a date? but," pause and total seriousness... "i can't drive."so we thought it would be fun to go the same great little place as daddy and ella, only to find out that of course they don't serve pizza from that amazing brick oven on sunday nights. so why not head to baja fresh. i mean, i didn't put on a dress for nothing. and besides, they have chips! what more could you want? (or so the 4 year old is convinced)

and anyway, we can head back to that awesome restaurant for dessert where they scoop ice cream with teaspoons and then proceed to forget about you while your 4 year old begs to leave for a 1/2 an hour.

but hey... who's complaining?i got to spend my night with this handsome stud and all these ladies kept stopping and saying how incredibly handsome he is which all contributed to the reason he hates it when i make him wear that hat and tie in the first place. he'd rather be invisible and get no attention whatsoever.

which is perfect in like 10 years.

at the end of the night, he said to me, "thanks, mom. this was the most amazing night EVER!"

and that just makes my heart smile.

snow days?

2011-02-11T09:10:00.000-08:00

so, i hear its been cold around the country.

ice storms, snow, canceled school.

i spoke with my brother the other day and the wind chill was -20 that morning.

(not to brag or anything... but...) i kinda like that i live where my kids can eat ice cream in the backyard.
(friends, family, are you reading this? please move here... you're gonna love it.)

on a more serious note...

2011-02-09T16:38:00.000-08:00

so in the interest of keeping it real, not all of my life is full of sarcasm and the crazy stunts my kids pull.

somewhere between new years resolutions and the day o' fun at the zoo, i had a miscarriage.

i debated about posting this blog entry at all. its incredibly personal and might make some of my readers uncomfortable. like, dear friends who never knew i was pregnant in the first place (which was pretty much all of you, so please don't feel left out). or not so dear friends that are saying, "what?!?! you were going to have ANOTHER kid? you can NOT be serious!"

but the reality is, i have way more friends than not who have actually suffered a miscarriage themselves. this heartbreak is entirely too common and so i figured a little vulnerability on my behalf could possibly encourage someone else out there in blogland.

after the initial shock and hormone assault wore off, i'm actually doing quite well. i attribute this not as much to the excess of chocolate i consumed but rather the generous amount of prayers on my behalf.

its sad of course. and many other emotions at many different moments of the day, but ultimately, what really sums up my peace about the whole thing is this: there is no greater comfort than knowing God is in control of my life.

and i don't just say this because it is what i am supposed to say. i say it because it is an absolute certainty. there is a peace that surpasses all understanding that is found in God alone, and really, that is all it can be.

i realize the pain of going through a miscarriage at only 6 weeks with 3 other children is nothing compared to what others close to me have experienced... years of infertility, miscarriage after miscarriage and no other children to hold tight or distract you from yourself with spilled milk and lego towers and muddy windows and boisterous laughter. i recognize how incredibly blessed i am to have the precious sleep deficient children i do.
i am also blessed to have family and friends who love me and pray for me and encourage me. and i also learned a valuable lesson. never underestimate how powerful the simple act of dropping off flowers, a sweet card and doughnuts at someone's doorstep can be.

it was shortly after this, anthony and i were having an unrelated conversation about our current town really feeling like home. and while there are many things that make it completely heavenly here, the doughnut/card gesture is what i told anthony put everything in cement for me. friends who love me and encourage me when i'm hurting. who reach out and are there.

so there you have it... a little update on my life. i'll try to get back to something less serious tomorrow.

but in the meantime, should you (or your children) know my little ones, please know they are completely unaware of any of this. someday, of course, when they are older they will find out and ella will possibly say, "oh... is that the day you couldn't stop crying into your cereal bowl and you let us eat all kinds of junk food and watch way too many movies?"

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world. - C.S. Lewis

my daddy is so special

2011-02-05T16:01:00.000-08:00

by ella joy

my daddy is so special
i love him so much
i missed him when he was gone
now he is home

my favorite human in the world
is my daddy

he helps me fly my kite
he goes to work for me and my family
he drives the car for the family

yes, this is true
every word that i say in this poem

while i hear the words of this poem
it makes me feel so proud
'cause i love my daddy so much.
recently, anthony had a trip to costa rica.

(yes, some of us around here get to live exotic lives.)

(and "some" of us does not include me... not that i'm bitter about it or anything...)

so ella wrote this poem to welcome him home.

my second favorite thing about this poem is when ella dictated to me that daddy was her "favorite human" she sorta mumbled it.

so i asked for clarification and she looked at me all worried and said, "but does that hurt your feelings?"

a little girl loving her daddy more than any other human?

never.

my first favorite thing about this poem was the tears in daddy's eyes when he read it.

because she is definitely his favorite little human girl in the whole world.

my third favorite thing was when i asked ella if i could put this on my blog she hesitated at first. and after talking her into it, she agreed, "ok, mom. i'll let you do it if you pay me a quarter."

yep. that's my girl.

things i would spend my christmas money on if it weren't so depressing

2011-01-27T15:13:00.000-08:00

a swing set. or some such fun for the kids in the backyard. i often wonder if they tire of digging in the same little patch of dirt or if bennett actually enjoys pulling ella around in the wagon while they play "queen." (poor little sucker)
a new vacuum cleaner. is it too much to want clean carpet without the lingering odor of a wet dog? and no, we don't have a dog. also, it would be nice to have a vacuum that can handle hair. it seems every time anthony vacuums he ends up crouched over it upside down and pointing out all the hair wrapped up inside it. long, dark hair. he doesn't come out and say it, but his eyes accuse: "this is yours." and i don't come out and say it but my eyes defend: "yes indeed. or ella's. and we don't exactly just yank it out of our head and scatter it about the floor to annoy you. it just happens."
scented candles. in light of number 2, i would love some yummy candles to cozy up the place. but why oh why are the good ones so dang expensive?
a new flatiron. it seems that things that plug in are practical. i don't want to spend my money on practical. i'd rather be excessive.
running pants. there are actually days its freezing around here in the morning. but i hate the idea of spending $25+ on a pair of pants i won't need in a few months. especially when i can just keep running in the shorts i've had for 10 years. nike never goes out of style... right?
books. dear library, can you branch out a bit? and i have no problem spending money on some great classics to add permanently to my bookshelves. but rather, i'd like my library to stock some great, possibly shallow, page turners.
an apron. i like all those fun little cute aprons i see everywhere. however, buying one for myself to do such a task as kitchen work... i'd probably put it on in the morning and end up wearing it all day. that's sorta depressing.
fun coffee cups. my "matching set" is down to 2. the others are a garage sale looking hodge podge. why do i not want to spend money on coffee cups? i don't know... maybe because they hide out in the cupboard all day.
place mats for my table. something besides the plastic map of america and abc's. i'd like some cute ones that can sit on my table and make it look all pretty. the impracticality of this purchase is the 3 little children in my home. enough said.

mud painting

2011-01-25T10:23:00.000-08:00

the artist:

Boy, (noun): a noise with dirt on it. ~ Not Your Average Dictionary

beach

2011-01-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

and really, who needs pants anyway?

day o' fun

2011-01-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

nothing wraps up a week of studying about elephants like a trip to the zoo.

and nothing is as fascinating to a 4 year old than the size of its poop. quite remarkable actually. and later noted as the highlight of bennett's day. "mom, i still can't believe how big that poop was."so the zoo is always fun. and when you tire of looking at such amazing creatures as lions and giraffes and gigantic elephants (which shockingly, young children quickly do...) there is of course the cardboard sliding hill of fake grass. oh... so that's why the poor kid has been complaining of his elbow hurting. nothing like a little rug burn.
hours and hours of fun. thinking of having one installed at my house.

and the highlight of the day for me was watching my kids enjoy each other. ella and bennett navigating the map and directing our every step, the generous sharing of snacks, giggling together about poop, contagious excitement over the snorting pigs, and really, just being the 3 greatest kids around.

new years resolutions

2011-01-04T19:21:00.000-08:00

i really don't make new years resolutions. i'm realistic about myself. if i haven't already followed through on a certain life change, january 1st certainly isn't going to motivate me to do it this time. especially for 365 days.

and then i overheard my husband's resolution. "i really just want to love Jesus more. if i focus on that, i believe the other important stuff in my life will fall into place."

yes. of course. me too, thank you.

so that being said, i know i have some other things that possibly need some attention in my life...

here goes:

read good stories (not that lame disney and dora rubbish they smuggle home from the library) to my kids at bedtime instead of counting the seconds until 8:00
decide on paint color for mason's room. its ridiculous its still pink. we've only lived here for 14 months...
bathe children more frequently. in the olden days, i know they only bathed once a week before the Good Lord's Day, but it wouldn't kill us to at least throw in one other day of the week (if this is totally disgusting to you, then yes, of course i'm joking)
mop floor more consistently. do not wait for my 4 year old to say, "mommy, can we please mop today. my feet keep getting so dirty."
ditto on sliding glass door. "mommy, can you please clean the window. i can't see the backyard."
try to clean bathrooms more often and not just when company comes over. or at least put a sticky note as to where the toilet paper is stored so they don't have to ask me. again.
read more classics. and not put important books like dobson's "bringing up girls" or tripps "shepherding a child's heart" on the shelf indefinitely when my dear friend passes along the latest gripping page turner. (that being said, hunger games was completely awesome, and if you have something else that good, please send it my way. immediately. thank you.)
attempt to clean out minivan more often. if we each carry in 4 items off the floor each trip, it should be looking pretty good by summer.
spend more time planning fun, creative learning opportunities for my inquisitive children to enrich and expand their lives and spend less time on facebook, blogs, and googling such things as "boot sale."
drink less coffee. get more sleep.
~~eat less chocolate~~. (not gonna happen)
respond with excitement when i'd rather respond with sarcasm. example: "mom, how about we pack a lunch and get all our sand toys and spend the whole day at the park." will respond with, "that sounds awesome! lets bring a kite, your bikes and a soccer ball!" instead of, "i'd rather rip my own fingernails off."

so, from my disorganized, filthy home to yours... happy 2011!

what ever did homeschoolers do before youtube?

2010-12-18T12:50:00.000-08:00

so my curriculum tells me to gather an assortment of information on each of our unit studies throughout the year. supposedly, i need to compile newspaper clippings, magazine articles, books, pictures, and what nots on specific topics like water, space, animals, etc...

i have the grandest intentions.

but typically, on monday when we start a new unit, i begin with something like, "lets see what google can tell us about insects!"

and we gather around and watch fascinating videos on youtube.

because yes, there are fascinating videos out there... like, who knew ants were this amazing? or that an octopus can camouflage itself or do this!?!

(and should you be a homeschooler or completely bored at work, you must watch the links above.)

and also, we got an ant farm.

its very educational and homeschool-y of us.

let me just say its quite fascinating watching them work so stinkin hard. and work together so well to make all these tunnels. i mean, i do feel a little guilty. i don't know why they are digging. they are trapped in a plastic container. but nevertheless it provides us with much entertainment.

and when they sleep, all 25 of them cluster up in one big ball. its kinda cute. and also kinda reminds me of what our bed is starting to look like at night. which is not so cute. i could do without mason draping himself across my face all night long.

but then again, it is better than the alternative. actually getting up a million times to go to his room and telling him to stop screaming for daddy.

in other fun news, ella and i went to the nutcracker the other day. bennett was a little sad he wasn't going but i told him he would probably just be bored. to which he responded, "yeah, and we are going to have so much fun here with daddy. we are going to have pillow fights and play uno."

and then ella proceeded to coach him on how to beat daddy at uno. its becoming serious around here, all the uno playing. ella refuses to lose. she'll draw 50 cards to get a draw 4 if her opponent called uno. we've had games last over an hour. seriously.

i try to hide my annoyance.

i don't think i'm very good at it.

anyhow, the nutcracker ballet was fun. (but really, shouldn't men, like, layer up or wear something besides white? just saying...) on the way home, ella asked if she could do it next year.

"like, be in the show? can we look up online how i can do it?" (all this youtubing has actually taught my kids something. basically, the answer to anything can be found online...)

"yeah, we'll have to start with ballet lessons for like a billion years."

ella thinks for awhile. "ok, so can you see online about me doing ballet. and if its too expensive, maybe i can do some work for you to earn some money to pay for it myself?"

that's one determined, responsible child.

and apparently, one super cheap mom.

kindergarten

2010-12-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

"kindergarten is like... the hardest thing i've ever had to do." -ella some days, i feel the same way.

overall, things are going great. but there are those days...

days i'm sure the kindergarten teacher down the street at the "official" school would certainly not have to deal with the drama i do.the true colors of a 6 year old are reserved just for moms.

teaching ella is teaching a perfectionist.

you need to know that perfectionism drives me crazy. this is why over the years i have "encouraged" my husband in "subtle" ways out of his perfectionistic tendencies.

he probably just thinks he has evolved into the well adjusted, perfect human he is today.

the truth is, it was all me.

anyhow, i don't have the energy for another perfectionist in my house. especially one i have the responsibility of educating. while ella is practicing her writing, amidst gasps of frustration and exasperated body language, this is what i hear in response to my encouragement.

"ella, you are doing a great job writing your s's."

(emphasis on sarcasm begins here.)

"ya... if you like s's that look like 5's."

"oh, ya, that one's great... if you like backward s's."

"well, i'd like this one if it didn't look so ugly."

then, of course, is her tendency to question everything. everything.

"why do i have to start the S from the top? if i don't will it collapse or something?"

i believe this trait will get her far in life. that is, if we can make it through kindergarten.

there are many moments, granted me by a gracious God who knows i need the encouragement, when the lights are on, the mind is working, and ella is learning and growing.

during the circle time the other day (which involves all children and can be a complete disaster) we were talking about the book of proverbs and knowledge vs. wisdom. "we" who were talking about it was actually just me, while mason was launching off the couch onto my head and bennett was knocking stacks of pillows onto the bible.

so at the speedy conclusion of the lesson, ella gives me this "knowing" smile and says, "mommy, that was a real good lesson. thanks."

awww... just what i needed to make it one more day. and then there is the presidents. i have these flashcards and the kids love learning about them and remembering them in order.

its really bad when they ask me questions about particular leaders and i can't find the answer on the back and i want to say, hey, don't look at me! i never even knew we had a president named franklin pierce and the only reason i know so much about john adams is because i saw the extremely well done miniseries on him with stellar actors that brought history home to me in a whole new way.

(although, i think the movie could be more aptly titled, "the man married to abigail adams")

(some men are just better because of the women they choose to marry.)

anyhow, then we got to abraham lincoln.

"wow. he is a really stylish man, mom."

ummm... you got that from a .99 flashcard?

upon further study she then said, "and he is really good looking."

to which i wanted to say, "oh just wait until you see who is portraying him in the upcoming movie."

(yes, mom, that is daniel day lewis)

and ella, i realize he may not be all that dazzling upon first glance but wait until you see the intensity of his desperate, courageous dash through a brutal battle to passionately save the life of his one true love. be still my heart.

pretty much

2010-12-08T14:24:00.000-08:00

congratulations to...

2010-12-06T08:46:00.000-08:00

... aubrey!

happy shopping with your $40 at csnstores.

thanks to all of you who participated and thanks to csn for sponsoring this giveaway.

time for a giveaway!

2010-11-30T09:22:00.000-08:00

***closed***

are sling backpacks, kitchen goodies, toys, games, or shoes on your christmas list this year?

enter to win the csnstores $40 giveaway!

$40

spend it on yourself. spend it on your christmas gifts. spend it on me.

the options are endless.

leave a comment for an entry. leave another comment for an additional entry if you post on your own blog.

(you do not need to have a blogger account to enter. just leave me your name and email address as an anonymous comment.)

winner will be randomly chosen monday, december 6.

good luck and may the best person whowouldliketobuymesomething win!

thankful

2010-11-29T08:47:00.000-08:00

thanksgiving was wonderful. grammy and poppa made the long journey out from arizona to celebrate thankfulness with us, provide free childcare and take themselves one step closer to falling in love with paradise and deciding to move on out here.
bennett helped daddy with "terry the turkey."grammy helped the kids make thankful turkeys and mason snuck food in whenever he could.on the kids thankful list...

ella:"Jesus, mommy, daddy, a brother (she didn't specify which one), a bible, a house, a neighbor, food, toys, trees..."

bennett:"daddy-that he has a gun to shoot bad guys, poppa getting me a remote control helicopter, a house to live in to keep me warm, a tv that i can watch stuff on"

(apparently i need to buy him something that flies or is destructive and maybe i'll make the list.)

masons was "daddy" "ella" "bennett" "cars" "truck" "mommy" "poppa" "grammy" pretty much the extent of his vocabulary. but at least i was included, even if i came in after cars and trucks.

and after thanksgiving, it was of course time to cover every bare space in the house with the cozy christmas decor.
it warms a mother's heart when this is the one most captivating to my 2 year old.(but um, dontyoudaretouchit. we've already had 2 wise men decapitated, so lets just worship baby jesus with our eyes and not our hands, k?)

do i have a problem with shameless blog promotions?

2010-11-22T19:00:00.000-08:00

of course not! especially when i get free stuff.

i know i have lots of catching up to do... like a certain 6 year old losing her FIRST tooth! and the awesome way this event corresponded with completely fantastic, excited friends visiting who took her out for a special treat! (guaranteed the garates are WAY more generous than that cheap-o tooth fairy).and there have been other happenings, such as a dinner out with grown-ups! which included things like candles and appetizers. (who knew the dining experience could be better than the food court at costco?)

and, the discovery of an awesome babysitter who lives like 4 houses from me! (and the realization that i'm super, super old because back when i was babysitting, the shillingtons were the coolest ever (even if one of the boys totally hated me because i was mean) and they paid me 3 dollars an hour. THREE!!! this was the best gig in town back then. and in light of current babysitting rates... wow. at this price, i'm starting to think my kids should be fluent in another language by the time i get home from dinner.)

but aside from all that, there's quite a big event coming up...

my favorite time of year to check the mail.

christmas card season!

and guess where i'm getting my christmas cards this year?

shutterfly.

and not just because they allow me the opportunity for a shameless plug in exchange for 50 free cards (you can too, go here.)
but because their stuff is awesome. christmas cards, calendars, and all kinds of good stuff.
and yes, of course, i'm wondering if my card will look as cute when the kids on the front aren't smiling or even looking at the camera, or throwing sand in each others face, or... well, lets just say our christmas picture taking might have been a tad stressful this year...

anyhow, go check them out. and get some free cards of your own.

oh, and be sure to send me one. i love, love, love christmas cards!

dear a.y.s.o.

2010-11-08T14:21:00.000-08:00

its been fun,but i'm not gonna miss ya.

sincerely,
not the perfect soccer mom

i love my calendar for november.

its wide open.

no more soccer practice...

games...

snack mom duty...

and no more crazy soccer parents, living vicariously through their 5 year old...

chill out, people.

(this reprimand does not include parents excitedly cheering for their 6 year old who scores her first EVER goal, followed closely by the SECOND ever goal... especially if said 6 year old has been wanting one so badly, and practicing and praying for one for two seasons.)
(no, those weren't tears in my eyes... it was the sun... or the wind... or something...)

obligatory halloween post

2010-11-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

every year i debate whether or not my kids are going to participate in halloween.

("participate" is a much friendlier word than "celebrate.")

i mean, we really don't have to debate whether or not the nights a little evil right? there are skeletons hanging from my neighbor's trees. and tortured creatures laying about the yard. and children dressed up as though they might kill me coming to my front door.

so yeah, should i really be telling my kids this is all ok?

maybe this is the year i finally put my foot down and keep the porch light off and lock us in the house and read Bible stories or something.

but then... i think of all the chocolate i can confiscate from my kids.

and i cave.

and besides, i'm a sucker for them dressed up all cute.

(knight armor made by daddy.)

and of course my little bear wouldn't keep his head on for longer than a couple pictures.

in the door, stripped down, and sugared up.

and as soon as you go to bed, little buddy, that twix in your pumpkin pail is mine.

shopping

2010-10-28T15:24:00.000-07:00

doing some shopping today at csnstores. looking at kitchen bar stools, some fun cookware, new shoes, and a variety of educational goodies for homeschooling.

and who knows, maybe even a few christmas presents for some of you out there...

but in way more exciting news, guess where anthony is?

jury duty.

he's been sitting in one room since 8:30 this morning doing nothing.

do you know how jealous i am of him? do you know how much reading i could get done?

but on the bright side, guess who else is sitting in jury duty with him.

hercules.also known as kevin sorbo.

kinda doubt he's dressed like this.

you never know though.

i asked anthony to take a picture of him.

he didn't.

i think he thought i was joking.

i wasn't.

because seeing celebrities at jury duty tells me one thing. don't ignore the jury summons when you live in southern california. you never know who you might see.

(what? like i don't know how shallow i am for thinking its a little exciting to see famous people, even if they played weird characters on random tv shows opposite a freakishly strong woman named "xena"?)

daddy parties

2010-10-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

so this past weekend, i went on a women's retreat with my church.

i knew not a soul there.

unless you count the awesome wife of a guy anthony prays with at his men's bible study who invited me via text and called the church to get me in her room and made me feel all warm and welcome all weekend.

never underestimate the power of going out of your way to be someone's friend.

take it from that someone.

because, seriously, who wants to go get trapped in the mountains all weekend with a bunch of women they don't know?

she was great. she was my friend before she even knew whether or not i was some wackadoo she'd be stuck with for 3 days.

so, it was going out of my comfort zone to go. but i'm totally glad i went. met great ladies. learned more about my great God. hiked in God's great creation. ate great food i didn't have to cook on dishes i didn't have to wash.

and then there is my fantastic husband, who encouraged me to be gone for TWO WEEKENDS IN A ROW.

that's right, he's a good man.

i know its a lot for him to do single parent duty on his own and i appreciate it.

and so do the kids.

the fun doesn't stop.

there's the beach...
exploring...
park trips. times a million.
sleeping arrangements...

and other special things like shopping trips where ella got new shoes and a cute little purse and other old navy clearance bargains.

seriously, daddy parties are like their favorite thing in the whole world. i'm pretty sure before picking me up he had to tell the kids, "now make sure you tell mommy how much you really missed her."

and then they probably got all confused and glanced around the minivan and finally noticed, oh, mom's not here? no wonder we've been having so much fun.

anthony puts parents everywhere to shame.

all aboard

2010-10-18T02:43:00.000-07:00

bennett and i had a special getaway.(ella got to go last time. it was his turn for the airplane ride.)

(and NO this does not mean it's mason's turn next time... not unless "next time" is in about 5 years and involves sedatives.)

bennett's first ever train ride and plane ride were just about as thrilling and spectacular as possible and met all his fantastic little 4 year old expectations.especially soda on the airplane.

soda. does it get any better than this?

what? peanuts too?!?

life is good when you are four.it was fun to be back in arizona to see my wonderful family and dear friends. (did i remember to take pictures of these special people? of course not.)

except for the complete absence of any moisture whatsoever. i'm barely off the plane and i begin frantically searching for chap stick. and lotion.

how did i ever survive in such dryness?

so we journeyed up for a beautiful hike in oak creek canyon.which involved all sorts of water and rocks and dams and sticks.oh, and God's completely amazing creation.seriously breathtaking.i have to say it is one of the most beautiful places in all the world.

and i've seen ~~a lot~~ some of the world.

like say for instance, india.

i spent a big chunk of time there back in the days between college and marriage.

it was the most eye-opening, challenging, enriching, amazing, educational experience in my life. i learned more about Christ's love and the desperation and need of us as his children than ever before.

i spent my time with the poorest of the poor, street children in calcutta. they lied to me, yelled at me, stole from me, manipulated me...

and i absolutely love them to pieces.

its a long story, like another couple hundred blog entries, but now, there is a home in calcutta, meeting the needs of orphans and desperate children. hope home. the testimonies of the children who have experienced God there and been transformed are simply amazing.

so dev, the man in the trenches in india came to visit this fine country of ours. it was a great chance to catch up on the goings on at hope home. and also an opportunity to let you know that if you have considered sponsoring a child, this is a great way to do it. because basically, i can vouch for them first hand.

and also, there is always a need for short (or long) term missions trips to the home. oh, and they are, among other things, in need of a nurse. (are you reading this cara?)

seriously, pray about it.

(whoa... is that like 3 pictures of me in a single blog post? that has for sure got to be some kind of record...)

progress

2010-10-12T13:37:00.000-07:00

mason was born.

760 days later, we left him in the nursery and he STAYED THERE!!! and there was rejoicing in heaven.

no hysterics.

no violent protests.

no non-calming and eventual vomiting on poor, unsuspecting servants of the Lord.

no number appearing on the screen saying, "please get your kid before the nursery workers completely lose it..."

after moving, church hunting, numerous manipulative tactics that never worked...

after the "just leave him, he'll be fine" followed by the pager going off, the number on the screen, the vomit... after volunteering ourselves and staying with him the entire service...

after fervent pleading with the almighty God...

finally. finally, we left him there and came back after church and he was smiling!

laughing!

i thought this day would never come.

great is your reward in heaven, robert and kelly, the best nursery workers on the face of this beautiful earth.

check it out

2010-10-08T10:18:00.000-07:00

is this not the cutest thing ever?
i imagine if i had one, it would make my kitchen feel cleaner instantly.

and guess what? my friend beth, the creative one who perfected those amazing aprons for ella's party, is giving one away.

so go on over and enter her giveaway.

and while you are there, check out some of the other great stuff she makes.

i so want one of these necklaces.
except not with lucas and patrick on it, of course. that would be weird. i didn't give birth to them.

why am i telling you this?

i'm not, really. i'm telling my husband. because he reads my blog too and he might be wondering what he should be getting me for Christmas.

also, beth makes these awesome hope ribbons. created in honor of her mom.

they are pretty fantastic. and, they are on sale for the month of october.

so go on over to beth's website and pick something out. because guess what? she's offering a 20% discount to you.

20% off

for. you.

so go start your Christmas shopping.

or just buy something for me.

but at the very least, enter her giveaway.

go check her out. and tell her i sent you.

http://bethanymariedesigns.com/

(20% off coupon code is steph2)

party time

2010-10-05T20:21:00.000-07:00

although my life of sleep deprivation did not officially begin until exactly 6 years ago on friday, we had an early birthday celebration for ella today.

it was super fun.ella's closest friends...
lots of cooking (and by cooking i mean playing with food)...
pizzas...

fruit... laughter and screeching...

and enough sugar to put a diabetic straight into a coma.

tempting, eh?

a cooking party is perfect for kids at this age.

especially if you are insane.

ok, but actually, it was really fun. and ella felt special, which is really all that matters.

and when i had the bright idea to make chef hats for the kids to decorate and wear, i made the mistake of sizing them all to ella's head.
i forgot about how ella's head circumference was off the charts (literally) in all the percentiles at every doctor's visit.

every. one.

he even had us come back for extra well checks, just to be sure.

big heads run in my family. just ask my brother.

or my dad, whose football helmets had to be special ordered in high school.

it has to do with all that brilliance. big brains, i tell ya.

anyhow, i did feel bad when the girls would say, "i can't see! i can't see!" when their hat dipped down below their eyes.

i know what you are thinking, at least those completely AWESOME aprons they got to take home made up for it.
my friend beth personalized and perfected them for me. she's pretty amazing.

more on her very soon.

but right now, since the kids are in bed, the house is quiet and the tornado has subsided, i'm going to go eat some chocolate and check out to shallow tv viewing.

happy birthday, ella.

the mop is gone

2010-10-04T15:30:00.000-07:00

before:

during:

(restraining, convulsions, screaming and pretty much pure torture)

after:

he has eyes! and a forehead!

i have to do a double take. i almost don't even recognize him anymore.

then he starts screaming or whining for something and it all comes back to me.

dear winner,

2010-10-01T09:31:00.000-07:00

ella drew you out of her cute little pink bucket...

and you are

christina!!!

so go on over and congratulate her. she's super fun and sassy with 4 beautiful girls and sometimes i even feed her husband lunch because he and anthony work together and they are practically bff's. (he's gonna totally love that i call them that)

i know what you are thinking... did i rig this, since i know her. but hey, i didn't because i knew almost everyone who entered and i'd be super excited if any one of you won. so maybe next time, k?

congratulations chris. and happy shopping.

i'm such a baby

2010-09-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

it's over 90 degrees here today.

97 currently, to be exact.

and its officially the first day i've complained about the heat.

in an ENTIRE YEAR.

i love it here!

and since typically, it doesn't even hit 80 degrees, we don't have air conditioning.

which is what makes days like this quite miserable.

97 degrees. 3 whiny kids. no air conditioning.

one irritable mommy.

i know, its hard to feel sorry for me when today is the exception. and the rest of the year i can head to the beach in the morning and wear sweatshirts in the evening.

but for today, i complain. i'm a baby like that.

i'm off to sit under the fan and eat ice cream.

**(don't forget to enter the giveaway. winner to be announced friday!)**

nothing like the sound of jackhammering in the morning...

2010-09-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

over a year ago, some genius that lived in a house across the street decided to siphon gas out of his non-working car with a shop vac.

unfortunately for him, the spark of the shop vac and the abundance of gasoline were not a good mix. it burned most of his house down.

when we moved in, we heard the story.

and then, for the past year, we continue to drive past the "fire house" (as my kids call it), all burned and haunted looking, with an overgrown front yard and a chain link fence lining its perimeter.

it's an eyesore.

and i know we have such things as insurance hurdles and investigations and all that necessary stuff here in our forward-moving civilization. but seriously, i ask myself (or complain to anthony) ever so often, WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG!?!

that is, until this weekend.

early saturday, we heard the wonderful sounds of the demo team filling the air. and the people that never came all year, have proceeded to work non-stop tearing this house apart.

and i wonder, why must we jackhammer up the entire driveway? i didn't think cement was affected by flame.

and why must we start it so early in the morning?

anyhow, this has provided excellent entertainment for my kids.

yeah, i know this looks dangerous.

it is.

for awhile, they weren't allowed to climb up there anymore. not after ella pushed bennett because he was crowding her perch and he fell off onto his back.

it was pretty bad.

so i said, NEVER AGAIN!!!

no more kite flying.

or neighbor spying. (it does just look onto the road, not anyone's backyard or anything... that would be really creepy)

or periscope looking...

but then, as those of us who are weak and desperate often do, i caved.

with all the demo action, the questions started coming, like can we go watch? can we go in the front yard?

people, this would mean i would have to go with them and retrieve mason from oncoming traffic. over and over and over again.

what kind of mother do they take me for?

i'm l.a.z.y.

so yeah, they can climb the teetering tower of plastic chairs once again.

it's educational after all. they have learned so much... jackhammers, cement trucks, construction-ish things, forklifts, bobcats...

and meanwhile, i can do the dishes, or fix dinner, or blog...

its a win-win for us all!

giveaway!

2010-09-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

***closed***

have you been shopping lately for console tables, learning resources, or a super cute chips and salsa bowl like this? 'cause i just got me one and i'm loving it!

one lucky blog commenter will win $40 to spend at CSNstores.com

there are about a million things to choose from. so spoil yourself. or start your christmas shopping early.

leave a comment for an entry. (if you do not have a blogger profile, leave an anonymous comment and your email address so i can contact you if you win.)

for an additional entry, post about it on your blog or facebook and leave me another comment telling me you did so.

good luck!

happy fall

2010-09-20T14:34:00.000-07:00

so we have this really cool nature walk area right by our house. you can walk down the sidewalk and suddenly you are on a dirt path surrounded by trees. it's gorgeous and secluded and makes you feel like you are out in the forest (and yet close enough to home to run back for preschool bathroom emergencies).

since we are wrapping up our little learning unit on creation, i figured it would be the perfect opportunity to enjoy God's creation (and collect little fall-ish items for my pumpkin men).

so i had just found the perfect little tree with itty-bitty pine cones when i hear the commotion.

there are all these birds flying through the air shrieking, and running on the ground below them was some sort of coyote/wild dog/crazyanimal.

and it was just about to intersect with the boys, who happened to be running up ahead of me.

so i start running for them yelling, "stop! stop!" (as if they have ever listened to that command) and panicking slightly, like how am i going to fight off a wild animal but knowing of course that i totally will because these are my children...

and i'm running as fast as i can all the while hearing ella screaming "mommy! mommy! mommy!" because i pretty much left her in the dust since the boys and wild animal were in front of me...

and i see it getting closer and closer and this whole time i'm still yelling "stop!" (yet haven't begun to think up ways to beat them later for still not listening to me...)

but then...

the thing runs the other way and we are safe.

minus all the emotional drama this has caused.

because by now, ella is in hysterics. and mason finally realizes something is wrong so he's yelling "up! up! up!" and clutching at my legs.

and ella is sobbing, "i don't want to do a nature walk anymore! i wanna go home now!"

(i told her to put the stick down for the picture. she said, "no. what if that thing comes back. i'm going to kill it." right, honey...)

and mason is crying and i'm trying to calm my heart down.

and bennetts all, "so mom, which way now?"

um, home.

and then bennett realizes we are heading home and he starts crying, "i don't want to go home..."

and he's throwing this ridiculous fit and i ask him, "bud, did you see that animal?" and he stops mid-cry and looks me all matter of fact and says, "yeah, but its gone now and i'm sure someone killed it already. can we go in the tunnel?"who says homeschooling isn't full of adventures...

happy birthday (last week)

2010-09-16T16:20:00.000-07:00

dear mason,

~~2 years! how has it already been 2 years? wow, time has flown by. it seems like yesterday~~ i'd hold you in my arms and you'd smile at me. and then i'd set you down and you'd giggle at me from your swing, without a care in the world. such a happy kid, so content. bringing so much joy to my life...
ahem.

dear mason,

wow, 2 years? is that all? i swear i've aged at LEAST five since you've been born.

don't get me wrong, i do love you. more than life itself.

but you exhaust me. it was pretty obvious the way you came into this world... what with that terrifying emergency c-section and you making a tangled mess of that umbilical cord and then squeezing it while they tried to yank you out of me... you were a force to be reckoned with...

and you were a keeper, that's for sure.

and then your incessant need to be awake all the time. really? really!?!

you give it your all. you are determined and passionate. and nothing gets by you.

and i must say, its nice that you no longer scream every waking moment. because, for real, your first year of life about did me in. i mean, i know some day you are going to change the world, fight injustice, stand up for the orphan and the widow, run for president, invent something incredible... all i know is, you better thank me at your inauguration for not murdering you as a child. (and don't be laughing like i'd be joking about that... you were, lets face it, pretty much a monster.)

but i love you. i mean, sure, its annoying that all you want now in life is daddy. like when i stumble in your room to your freaking out, middle of the night screaming and you go all ballistic and throw yourself to the other side of the crib and yell "dada, DADA, DADAAAAA!!!!" that doesn't exactly warm up a mother's heart.
but i do think you are really smart. like knowing how to get into my bathroom cabinet to get out all the first aid ointments. or eat vaseline. or shave your face. or stick q-tips in your ears.

so maybe this year we could work a bit on developing your speech. lets start with a calm version of, "mommy, may i please have a snack." and "thank you. you are the most wonderful woman in all the world." but if that's too much maybe we can work on "please" "snack" and understanding the term "patience, mason."

i love that you are driven. that you want to grow up fast and do things like color with markers (but lets keep it on the paper, ok?), glue and glitter, run out into the street (ok, but notsomuch), and sit at the table with the big kids...

that is, until you are actually allowed to sit at the table and then you adamantly insist upon sitting in the high chair.

life is on your terms.

although currently annoying for me, its a very admirable trait. don't ever let people bully you.

(and yet, please don't be the bully...)

you are quite a perceptive child. i can tell your brain is really working in there. you notice everything around you. and you focus real well on your toys, especially cars and trucks. is it possible for a 2 year old to be addicted to matchbox?

all i know is, whoever invented the whole toy version of the trailer attachment thing, thanks for nothing. about 85 times a day i hear, "uh, uh, uh, uh, uh?" (which doesn't look nearly annoying enough in type) and look down to you holding the truck that became detached from its trailer, AGAIN.

i know, it could be worse. you could be 16 and addicted to drugs.

but really, do you absolutely need to have 6 cars lined up in your crib each night to go to sleep?

it is a good thing you are so cute.

not that looks are that important, so don't let that go to your head or anything.

unofficially here, its also cute how you blame your siblings for everything. you can barely talk and yet you've already learned the most important trick in the book. but sometimes, its pretty obvious its you. (such as: "who pooped their pants?" "eh ah" "ella did not poop in your diaper!" giggling... "ben nen" "bennett did not poop in your diaper!" laughing now... "ma ma!" um ok, definitely not...)

you are so charming. you know how to give great smiles and provide dramatic entertainment for your audience. and when you get to the far end of the park and i yell for you to come back, i may seem annoyed that you turn and grin at me and then slap your hands over your ears and start running the other way, but it actually is very cute.
but if you could stop hanging from high playground platforms or climbing on ladders above my head, i would appreciate that. oh, and also, there is no need to bully other 1 year olds and scowl at them when they start playing with your sand toys.

i love you, little monster-mason.

in spite of all my complaining, you bring such joy to my life. you are energetic and passionate. your exuberant excitement over passing trucks and airplanes and play doh and yogurt is delightful. your sheer giddiness over the sight of your siblings after being separated for an hour or so is so rewarding to a mommy. and the way you run to me with your arms outstretched and your eyes and mouth open wide, with all that jolly laughing coming from deep within...

yeah, i'll keep you.

happy birthday. (and there's no such thing as terrible 2's, k?)

our weekend

2010-09-13T15:33:00.000-07:00

we went to a potluck (do we still use this word, "potluck"? or is "barbecue" more in these days? someone tell me, please) with homeschoolers from our church. we knew hardly a soul there. and i must say they are quite the cool bunch of people. not a single set of homespun matching denim jumpers among 'em.

we drove out close to the middle of the nowhere. these people have this completely amazing ranch, with pool, tennis courts, winding pathways among ponds and waterfalls...

did i mention we brought mason? it was my worst nightmare.

i don't think i ever finished a conversation. "hi, and your name is?... oh wait, never mind, my son is about to go headfirst over the bridge."

they all probably think i'm really rude.

but the good news is mason didn't drown.

and really, it was nice to meet some other families in the same boat as us.

but enough about that.

here's the thing.

maybe i should mention, as it seems to happen frequently in my little world, if you are invited to a potluck (or whatever...) it would be *proper* to bring at least enough food to feed your family.

for instance, if you think, "oh, i need to bring a dish. how about a couple celery sticks?" and then you load your family of 8 into the car and off you go, someone is going to be hungry.

and since your kids are most likely to get their food first and some moms out there are most likely to get their food last...

let's just say 1/2 a brownie doesn't quite the hit the spot.

but hey, enough about that.

we also had the excuse to pretend like we were on vacation. anthony had some work to do a couple hours away so we tagged along and swam in the hotel pool. the kids loved it.
and we got to spend some time with precious family members.

as simple as it may seem, these little over night adventures to hotels are huge for my kids.

ella wrote a little thank you book for her daddy.

"room 106"
by ella

than you daddy
i love you
love, ella

(it's way cuter if you could actually see it, but i can't seem to get the scanner to work and i'm completely impatient and i'm giving up.)

(also, to the people who were in in room 104 and 108, so sorry. it IS so obnoxious, how much noise they make in the middle of the night and how early the day starts...)

in the beginning...

2010-09-09T15:33:00.000-07:00

so this week has been pretty terrific.

i mean, not that it hasn't been a little overwhelming to try to coordinate a new schedule and educate a kindergartner in the midst of soccer, homeschool meetings, preschool, travel preparations, a birthday, and a sale at the mall.

but we are handling it all quite well.

ella (and bennett!) absolutely love "school" so far. bennett was disappointed to leave for preschool today. he didn't want to miss anything.

they are thrilled for circle time. (i've been getting most of my ideas here.) (that is, after getting every morsel of wisdom i can from my sister.)

and our curriculum has been really easy (for me) and fun (for ella).

it seems to be one of the big questions i get from others, what are you going to do for curriculum?

and the options are endless. i could spend hours upon hours researching the perfect curriculum for my child's learning style, interest, etc...

but that just isn't going to happen. come on, who has hours upon hours to do research about something like homeschool curriculum?

how would you have time left to waste on blogging and facebook?

my "research" for curriculum went something like:

"angie (sister), what curriculum do you use?"

"my father's world."

"perfect." done.

in addition to this, we've also been enjoying five in a row, which i found at a homeschool sale for $2. (also recommended by angie.) these books give you a list of children literature to use to teach everything from math to history to art.

and amazingly, this is fascinating to my kids. we've read the same book each day this week. paul revere's ride.i was thinking it would be way over their heads. but they love it! we've learned about poetry and minutemen and muskets and signals and palladian windows (they aren't the only ones learning here...) they can't wait to read it again and again...

there is an excitement for learning each day. (any ideas on how to capture this and keep it going for the next 12 years?)

so the challenge for me has not been in the actual educating. its been more in the taking care of everything else.

for instance... do we actually have to eat another meal tonight? and how does one make a housekeeper magically appear at the door? and why does stress make me want to eat more chocolate?

and any ideas on what to do with one of these?he wants to be in the middle of everything.

and to get there, he's usually jumping on people, throwing stuff, tearing papers and screaming.

and if he's not in the middle of us, he's into the glitter and markers and decorating himself. or helping himself to snacks and all kinds of stuff he's not supposed to do. so when people tell me how they don't want to homeschool because they need the break...

I GET IT.

because even though there's learning going on, it's kinda crazy around here too.

but i must say, its fun to snuggle on the couch with my kids and a book. and its great to see the light go on when they learn a new concept. and it's fun when they ask questions when we are out and about that pertain to what they are learning.

so even in these short few days we've been doing it, its been incredibly rewarding.

and i wouldn't have it any other way. (not counting the housekeeper part of the "other way." that i would definitely have.)

sunburns, haircuts, and good friends

2010-09-06T22:30:00.000-07:00

labor day weekend was filled with lots of fun... hanging out with friends, free kid's craft day at home depot, and getting to know our awesome neighbors who, in spite of the fact that they are young and cool and kid-free actually chose to hang out with us one night.

there were also some haircuts. mason was having a hard time seeing (we put off cutting his hair as long as possible since we still haven't found a safe way to sedate him), bennett has preschool friends to impress and anthony just went for something shorter.

isn't he a hottie?

(don't answer that. because he's mine, ladies.)

bennett was a bit concerned about his dad's drastic hair change. his immediate response was, "daddy, its ok if you wear a hat so no one will laugh at you."

anthony, chuckling: "i don't care if anyone laughs at me, buddy."

bennett gets a little insistent. "but daddy, you can wear a hat. 'cause i don't want anyone to laugh at you. 'cause, daddy... i don't want anyone to hurt your feelings."

such a tender heart, that one.

we also had a big celebration at our church.

didn't know the entire morning was actually going to be spent outside where my fair-skinned little beauty would get a serious sunburn.

seeing ella's red cheeks reminded me of my first ever trip to cancun with my family. it was so fun. especially the first day when i played and played and played in the ocean. but especially not the next 4 days when my sunburn hurt so bad i stayed indoors and watched mexican soaps and slept sitting up because my blistering skin couldn't handle touching the bed.

good times.

i always find it so *sweet* when people get "a little too much sun" and turn a little pink and then say, "oh, but it will turn into a tan by tomorrow."

oh really... how nice for you. because tomorrow, my burn will turn into a billion freckles and sun spots and wrinkles and skin cancer. but hey, i guess that's what you get when your ancestors hail from ireland.

lucky me.

we finished off the 3 day weekend at this really cool park enjoying a free concert with the rest of southern california. we had a cute little picnic dinner and then proceeded to stand in line for the bathroom for the duration of the concert.

su.per. fun.

and now, its off to bed because tomorrow is a pretty big milestone.

first day of school.

first day of kindergarten for ella.

first day of preschool for bennett.

and first day of teaching for mommy.

God help us all.

oh really?

2010-08-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

we were informed by ella:

"i may not have the most stylish clothes. i may not have the prettiest dresses. but i am smart. and i'm a little bit dangerous." i'm at a loss as to where she came up with this.

anthony says she got it from her mommy. i just can't imagine why he'd say such a thing.

ahem

firstborn

2010-08-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

"ella, can you get your stuff ready for soccer practice this afternoon?"
and she wasn't even trying to be funny...

boys

2010-08-20T18:20:00.001-07:00

so tomorrow we head to the big family beach party.

its going to be pretty awesome. waves, sand castles, s'mores, boisterous italians....

not that i'm trying to rub it in.

(or maybe i am, i guess. what can i say, its pretty rough here in paradise...)

so anthony is getting out the gear to cook up all those italian sausages to perfection. and he shows bennett and mason the flame. (ella too, but she's hardly impressed)
fascinating stuff, boys and fire.

bennett is completely mesmerized. "whoa.... dad, that is so awesome. maybe some night we can just get that down and burn stuff up."
not that he'd admit it, but his dad just might be thinking the exact same thing.

boys will be boys...

(not to worry, mom. it's not accessible to him and while he may not yet have a healthy fear of flames, he's terrified of going in the dark garage by himself so he won't be out there playing around and starting the house on fire or anything.)

announcing... homeschooling!

2010-08-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

the disappointing thing about announcing on your blog that you have decided to homeschool your kids is missing out on the shocked looks on the listening faces. the jaw dropping... the horrified gasps... the looks of "why don't you just permanently tattoo 'big fat dork' on your kids face"...i love it. it would appear to me there are few things more "controversial" than deciding to educate your kids at home.

and while most everyone in our life is supportive of us (or very good liars), there are some who are confused and more than likely concerned.

and i get it. because if you would have told me 3 years ago i'd be writing this blog post my response would have been: AHHHH HA HA HAAAA! fat chance!

but here we are. many people ask us questions and are genuinely curious about our plans. i welcome this and think its great. i love sharing our journey to embracing homeschooling.

there may be some, though, that i encounter who lack verbal filters. or think they know everything. basically, people like this don't really bother me. in fact, i find them entertaining since they provide excellent blog fodder.

so here is a sampling of some of the questions we get (the ones which are far less inquisitory and far more accusatory.)

"why on earth would you chose to do such a thing?"

what i want to say: because i feel like it and its really none of your business.

what i do say: because we are excited about the opportunities we find in homeschooling. i really enjoy my kids and see it as my responsibility not just to raise them, but to help form their character and instill godly values.

"there really are some good teachers out there, you know."

what i want to say: yes, but they didn't actually give birth to my children and love them their whole lives and have any desire whatsoever to nurture their soul.

what i do say: absolutely. and i'm sure there are many people who would be a much better teacher than me. but not a single one of them would actually love my children more than i do. and this is a life adventure.
"aren't you afraid your kids will be complete freaks?"

what i want to say: not as afraid as i am of them going to hell. (KIDDING, people. kidding!)

what i do say: nope. and i'm not convinced that the people coming out of public institutions are "normal" and best equipped for life.

"what!?! i sure don't think that's a good idea."

what i want to say: oh, that's funny, i don't remember asking you. i don't tell you that you need to put down your fork or spend more time with your kids or check into getting some valium, so maybe keep it to yourself.

what i do say: nothing. i just smile and pretend to be gracious.
so anyhow... this should be an interesting journey, one i'll be sure to document for your reading pleasure.

you may have perceptions of what the ideal homeschool family look likes, all perfect and peaceful and patient...

i'll sure do my best to shatter those illusions and help you realize that you can be completely flawed and God can use you anyway.

and i'll just share one of the favorite responses i hear from others: "well... I could NEVER do that." to which i often say, well, i really can't either. not in my own strength. i'm lazy, impatient, disorganized, uncreative... all which forces me to rely on God and trust him to do things in our family beyond my wildest expectations.

"Many Christians estimate difficulties in the light of their own resources, and thus attempt little and often fail in the little they attempt. All God's giants have been weak men who did great things for God because they reckoned on His power and presence with them."
- Hudson Taylor

oh, and please, DO pray for us...

you look good, you feel good, you do good

2010-08-13T15:12:00.000-07:00

one of my favorite teachers was my high school biology teacher.

mr. usher.

he was fun, laid back, sorta hippy-ish.

he actually liked his students and really enjoyed teaching us. and his excitement was contagious.

he had this gigantic oar propped by the back door of the class room. it was the hall pass. as long as it was there, you could take it and leave without asking permission.

he trusted us.

he knew that sometimes you had to go to the bathroom, get a drink, retrieve a book from your locker, or hang out with your friends who just happened to be ditching class.

he understood. he was cool like that. and besides, everyone knew you were from mr. usher's class. you couldn't exactly blend in dragging that gigantic thing behind you.
and he made a real big deal about finals. he stressed to us to get good sleep and eat a good breakfast. and then on the day of finals, he'd show up dressed in his tuxedo (but still wearing his very worn-in hippy-ish jeans).

his motto: "you look good, you feel good, you do good."

the following years, i always found comfort on finals day when i'd see mr. usher walking the halls in his tux. i liked him. i liked his philosophy.

i often think of this... "you look good, you feel good, you do good."

and i was reminded of it the other day watching ella clean. i'm guessing anything would be fun dressed as a princess. imagine how glamorous i could feel if i wore a gown while loading the dishwasher or folding laundry. if only i could get away with dressing like that all the time.

oh, but i can't.

and here's why:

so ella asked me, "mom, um... is it ok if i'm the queen or would you like to be the queen?"

not really caring but recognizing the need to keep the subordinates in their place i respond with, "well, how about i'm the queen and you are the princess."

"ok." and she seems happy with this.

for a little while.

but after thinking for a bit, she comes back. "um, well, since you are a mom now, and you really don't have nice clothes anymore, do you think it would be ok if instead i was the queen?"

wow.

um, well, i guess you're right. so... sure.

i'll just stick to being the servant. in my stained, out-of-style, faded, old "mom" clothes.

a good book

2010-08-05T23:06:00.000-07:00

why must these people i live with need food?

and drinks of water?

and clean clothes?

and help with things like putting toothpaste on their toothbrush and changing their own diaper?

don't they know that my mind is faraway in england, during world war 2, wondering what on earth will happen to richard? i know, after all, that penelope eventually shares a dreadful ever after with ambrose, but richard is her true love so what on earth happens! i must know! and what do you mean "what's for dinner?" didn't i just make you a piece of toast this morning?

i love to read. and sometimes (often) an especially good book will force me to forsake everything else in my life. i'm not exactly proud of this fact. the degree of disaster my house is in is often very closely correlated to how enjoyable my current book is.

i love a good story.

love. it.

and i do hope my children develop a hunger for reading and learning. because there is so much waiting to be discovered in a good book.

so, this is what my firstborn has been up to lately:
i find her everywhere with her nose buried in the pages. in the backseat, on her bed, in the backyard, at the park.

notice the book:
"prince caspian" by c.s. lewis.

excellent choice, i think.

especially if you can actually read.

which ella can't.

and yet she occupies so much of her time "reading." she skims each page, each line, each word for the ones she recognizes. she's currently on chapter 3.

and she loves it.

and i can only imagine that if she's this enthralled now with a story made up of words such as "the" "and" "you" "is" "to" and the occasional recognizable proper name (she's still waiting for a character named ella), she's going to blown away with all the many worlds that await her in books.

"You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend." ~Paul Sweeney

unique

2010-08-01T17:01:00.000-07:00

the other night we went for ice cream. we got 2 free bowls (because my man is the king of good deals).

this shared between 3 kids isn’t exactly the smoothest, especially with mason and his demanding and persistent shrieking.

so finally bennett says, “i’m all finished. you can have mine, mason.” and he passed his ice cream over with a content smile.

i said, “bennett, you are so sweet. if the world was filled with people like you, everyone would be happy, everyone would get along, there’d be no wars, everyone would share and people would mind their own business.” he just gave me his big, heart melting grin.

not wanting to leave anyone out i then said, “and mason, if the world were full of people like you, there would be lots of determination, inventions, discoveries, dominations and conflict.” he looked up at me from his spot, with his arm wrapped tightly around his newly acquired bowl of ice cream and scowled at the spoon i was holding as if to say, “don’t you dare take a bite.”

and of course, “ella, if the world were full of people like you everyone would be doing what they are supposed to, everything would get done, no one would break the rules. the world would be precise and organized.”to which ella naturally responds, “oh, you mean it would be the right way?”

i for one, am grateful for the variety in our family.

"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise." ~Johann von Goethe

home

2010-07-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

so i've been in the mood to do some shopping lately. typically, i don't like to shop at all. but its always fun to find something new for the house. (or myself, of course) i've been looking at csnstores (those awesome folks who sponsor those giveaways) and finding stuff from le creuset, these super cute removable chalkboard circles, and just about everything else under the sun.

remember back when i was mentioning wanting something for my kitchen... a cabinet, preferably red, etc...

well guess what we found sitting by a dumpster.now its time to shop for some new dishes for those shelves. maybe some sort of unique art for those bare walls...

and then all i'll need is a personal chef and my kitchen will be complete.

but the home improvement doesn't stop there. stay tuned for part 2 which involves my husband and all his hard work at making the kids room look a little less like pepto bismol vomit and more like a super fun place to build all your childhood memories.

pictures to come after i do some serious cleaning...

so don't hold your breath or anything...

that will all be after i do some more shopping at csnstores. and then i'll come back and tell you all about what i got.

i know, you can hardly wait. (neither can i!)

lunch date

2010-07-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

so guess who we had lunch with today?

(mom, that's eddie cibrian (actor) and leann rimes (singer))

ok, so not with them. but with them. they were only a table away.

there was once a day that eddie and i were going to run away together.

back when he was jimmy doherty, hot new york firefighter from third watch. (you know, back before he was an adulterer and left his wife and child for a beautiful singer.)

but alas, i've grown up since then. so as he was gazing wistfully at me across the tables i simply had to shrug my shoulders and say, "sorry to break your heart, eddie. you missed your chance. i've moved on to bigger and way better things."

and i held anthony's hand as we walked out to the parking lot, past his porsche, and climbed into our minivan....

and rode off into the sunset.

and we lived happily ever after.